MALE, May 12: Despite being one of the more exclusive and expensive tropical island resorts of the world, one thing you couldn't complain about was the lack of tension on the summit day.

Five grey-painted gunboats, which is practically all of the Maldives Coast Guard fleet, patrolled the approaches of the island swarming with Indian, Pakistani and Maldivian security men, though the threats they had to deal with were mostly armed with TV cameras. A war of sorts broke out as Pakistani TV crews fought their way into the meeting room helped along by their officials who claimed they could decide who should be allowed in since they were hosting the lunch.

Never to give in easily in such situations, Indian officials argued that if such were the case, then guests be accorded the same privileges as well. The fact, however, was that the media had originally been strictly forbidden from entering the room.

All hell broke loose. Tempers flared and voices raired and in the confusion somebody screamed as a sizeable flowerpot landed on his toe. In such excitement, you couldn't fault Pakistani Foreign Minister Gohar Ayub if he got carried away a bit while rapprochement was the theme of the day. He blurted out the old rehearsed line: ``India's Army has gone berserk in Kashmir... India must stop gang rape, burning of houses, extra judicial killings, etc., etc.''

A western journalist comforted the shocked Indian officials by saying it was nothing but the old ``good cop-bad cop'' syndrome.

But once the doors were closed, order was restored. Except that the talks went on for well over an hour followed by the one-on-one round and finally the Chinese lunch with the usual Gujral injunction on sea food and red meat.The brief joint Press conference by the two prime ministers yet again saw tension among the hackpack as the electronic and print media jockeyed for the perfect vantage point on a beautiful wooden dance floor under the hideous strobelights of the resort’s discotheque. Print journalists were quick to call it the print-vs-Barbarian battle. The Barbarians won as the printwallahs were literally shouted down and squatted while the PM spoke.

Minutes later the jockeying was for a different kind of view as the Pakistani Foreign Secretary briefed the Press by the poolside as several surprised but unfazed bikini-clad western tourists formed the backdrop. The tourists, mostly German and American, were not complaining too much about the summit. "The heads of State," said one, "are fine. It’s the media who are the pest."

Copyright © 1997 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.