``Right from my childhood days, I was never made to feel the difference between the sexes. If I had a doll to play with so did my brother, and if he played with swords and guns so did I. We were among the few families that had a democratic system within the family structure.

``We never called our parents ai or baba, we addressed them by their first names. My parents too had an unconventional relationship. I remember my father braiding me if my mother was busy.''

Perhaps that sowed the seeds of equality in her mind. ``I began writing from an early age. Somewhere in my subconscious I began to think that if you want to be heard you have to write.''

At the age of eight, Gauri had her story published in a children's magazine. And from then on she has made sure she was ``heard''. ``Though I have done my PhD in English Literature, I write mostly in Marathi. Marathi is my mother tongue and writing in this language is an underlining of who I am. It's like saying a single word that is connected to not only its meaning, but goes beyond that to include the flavour, the context and nuances.

On her role as a writer
``All my novels have women at the centre. My first novel Karavasatun Patre is about this woman who analyses her relationships with the various men in her life, her father, brother, lover, husband, and comes to the conclusion that man like the jailer is as much a prisoner as the one jailed. And this applies to real life too. Men do not realise that by imposing binding women to a fixed role which generally is a house-bound one, they too get imprisoned by the responsibility of their well being.

``Society has bound women so tightly in their roles that women have now internalised the concept of male supremacy. To such an extent that some of them cannot even think that it is possible for them to have a life that is different from the one they are living. As a writer I feel that by putting forth theses ideas of equality I have, to some extent helped the feminist movement. Women may not go out and do what my characters did, but they at least think that this is possible.

On marriage
``I feel that marriage as we know it needs to be changed. Our society is based on the patriarchal system which is unfair to women. Marriage is seen as an end and not a means of self-fulfilment. When I got married at the age of eighteen it was because I wanted freedom. I wanted to be in my own house where I had the liberty to do as I pleased without the consent of anyone.

``Not that my parents were oppressive, but I had to have their permission to do what I wanted. In those days there was no confusion about who was the boss. So I married my first husband, Avinash Deshpande because I knew him well.

``But that did'nt work out. I cannot say what went wrong exactly, but I could not visualise myself in that situation for a long time. I don't blame him, for he was a typical middle class man who expected his wife to be like any other.

``Though our divorce was not bitter, it was painful. He got the custody of our younger daughter and I got Urmilla. I felt shattered to be separated from my daughter, but there was nothing I could do.Today I feel that if I was in a similar situation, I'd have reacted differently. It was a mistake on my part, but not a crime.

``Divorce came with its own set of struggles. Money was a problem and I took up a job with the Illustrated Weekly. It was on an assignment that I met Surendra who was an acquaintance of my former husband. He now tells me that he wanted to marry me when I was still married.

On live-in relationships
``But marriage did not follow automatically. We started living together and were very comfortable with it. I always tell my daughter that it is you young people who make such a hue and cry about a live-in relationship. In those days though we were living together, no one even raised an eyebrow. We used to get invited to friend's houses as a couple and it wasn't as if our relationship was immoral. ``I think we would have continued this way if it weren't for the overseas appointment that Surendra got. He was posted abroad and the company would not pay the for the ticket of a companion. So the choice was between staying separated or marrying and going with him''.

She chose to marry him and has a daughter from this marriage. Like her marriage, Gauri has chosen the kind of life she wanted to live. A life of equality, respect and freedom.