For instance, it ``troubles me'' that Pallavi Joshi has to do more than lie on the hospital bed without blinking (Alpviram, Sony). The doctors now discover that the comatose girl has been impregnated (there's no delicate way of saying it). The life within her will revive Pallavi. She (and we) will learn that the baby is the result of a rape. Doesn't it trouble you that TV producers are so bereft of ideas, they have to romance perversity?

It troubles me that the film Commando (STAR Movies) starring that building of a body aka Arnold Schwarznegger, was repeated on a Sunday afternoon so that every kid who missed it the previous night, could wallow in its blood-bath. Which means that the cute age limit warning that appears on the left or right hand corner of the screen, during such movies, is a joke. Ha. Ha.

It troubles me that we must watch (must we?) Shikha Swaroop and Shekhar Suman behaving like a couple of actors acting like a couple of crazies (Amar Prem, Zee) at 3.30pm. Not to say that it's gung-ho to behave like lunatics when the moon is out; just that the afternoon is hardly the occasion for channels to appear deranged.

It troubles me that the United States Senate has decided to examine the case for Clinton's impeachment (though not out of any sympathy for the cigar-lover or concern for the American state). President Nixon's impeachment hearings were telecast live on American TV. They were rivetting; no stone was left unturned. Between them, the Republicans and the Democrats, scrutinised each stray pebble of information as if they'd stumbled upon an undiscovered prehistoric relic. Since history has a bad habit of repeating itself, chances are there will be a live telecast of the hearings, that we will be subjected to Monica's oral examination in the Oval office. Again. Senators claim this is about lies not sex; we know how often the former is simply a cover-up for the latter. Does that not trouble you?

It troubles me that Mr Vijay Mallya, neatly folded within the flaps of a double-breasted suit, is promoting his McDowell's whisky, while ostensibly warning us against drinking and driving. In a TV commercial, issued in the public interest, Mr.Mallya claims he doesn't drive when he drinks -- nor should you. Not because you may die. Oh dear me no, nothing as fatal as that. No, he wants ``you to enjoy them (drinks) sensibly (?) as long as you can ...because good fun and good sense go together''. Really? All the while, McDowell's logo hovers over his head (or some such) like a halo.

It troubles me that a couple of youngsters, who produce a perfectly `horrible' serial (Woh, Zee) that would loosen the sphincter muscles faster than a suppository, claim it is performing a public service, too! ``A few parents have told us that...they now induce their kids to either eat or sleep by saying the joker (Woh) will enter your room and haunt you!'' (G magazine). It troubles me that one of them thinks boys who find the serial scary are ``sissies''.

It troubles me that Prasar Bharati hasn't yet acquired new Board members and DD a DG. It's troubling everyone who has anything to do with DD. A headless monster is far scarier than a hydra-headed one. Surely it cannot take so long to find appropriate -- sorry that has become a dirty word -- suitable persons for the jobs? We are told that the three-member selection committee has met, finally; we must wait and see if the appointments trouble us.

Other people's socks trouble me. DD2 telecast the tennis Grand Slam Cup (so did STAR Sports). The most unusual shot (!) was of Martina Hingis' shoes and socks. During a changeover, she stripped both off. The commentator, helpfully, explained it was good to possess spare pairs because tennis was sweaty business (you-don't-say?). Whereupon the TV camera zeroed in on the soggy articles -- so close, you had to hold your nose.

Finally, what troubles me the most is that inspite of being so troubled by what I see, I keep looking for more trouble.