My ramp was simple -- white and an equally simple backdrop. White with silver fonts that spelt `ARJUN KHANNA - 1999'. Every time I looked that way, I'd get this sick feeling in my stomach. I knew I had to avoid the caffeine buzz, if I wanted to stay well for the evening ahead. So, I opted for just one, black! Exactly what my doctor friends said I should avoid.

Rehearsals startedand went quite well since we had all come to terms with the abuses thrown in. Dessert was the highlight -- since it was a trial for the evening ahead. I had a very select audience and therefore had each truffle with their individual names on them. The stress was to educate my waitresses to recognise each face with the name! I guess I specialise in stress build up -- it's so much fun, and everything must be perfect, just perfect. I wanted pink champagne in crystal flutes with a black stem -- we had them made! Eventually...

I stood in the aisle, backstage, all through and checked each model before she sashayed down the ramp. My heart felt like Godzilla was thumping down on my chest. I thought that I was going to die. It's such a defining and lonely feeling during those 45 minutes. Like an athlete looking at his track before the final gunshot. I was numb, really numb!

My audience seemed to have loved the collection and I did get a lot of compliments -- some quite flattering, but most of them were sickeninglydiplomatic. And these you never get with total eye contact! I was eager to meet someone from the press, I don't know why, but I was. I didn't succeed. I guess that's half the reason I drank myself to sleep.

Pepper (my spaniel), woke me the morning after, not with a lick, but with a roll of newspapers. I was up like a bolt of lightning. I ripped out all the fashion supplements. They trashed my show. Each and every one of them -- trashed my show...

I thought it was over for me.

It was just the beginning!

Arjun Khanna is a fashion designer