Khurana, who is at loggerheads with the BJP central leadership on the role of a section of Sangh Parivar vis-a-vis attacks on minorities, revealed this to a news conference today.

His remarks assume significance since BJP president Kushabhau Thakre as well as Home Minister L K advani had denied involvement of the Bajrang Dal in the killing of the Australian missionary and his two minor sons.

Khurana, who faces flak for taking a stand inimical to the interests of certain sections of the Sangh Parivar for their `campaign' against Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee today said he was not against the entire Sangh Parivar or BJP.

``I am not anti-Sangh Parivar with which I have been associated for last 50 years but was only against those in the Parivar who wanted to tarnish Vajpayee's image,'' he told mediapersons here.

He said whatever he was today was due to the Parivar and therefore ``nobody should abuse me of being anti-Parivar. What we understood as Hindutva in the Parivar was not destroying cricket pitches, burning cinema halls or burning places of worship. This is pseudo-Hindutva and I am against this.''

Releasing copies of two letters written to BJP president Kushabhau Thakre, the former Delhi Chief Minister said ``I always fought for the organisation. I am not hankering after office. I have not committed any sin and I feel I did the right thing.''

In his letter to Thakre, he said he was deeply hurt to see the `pitiable' condition of the party as ``we have learnt since our childhood that organisation is greater than individual and country is all the more greater than the organisation''.

Khurana in his second letter to Thakre said the ``inhuman burning alive'' of Australian missionary and his two sons in Orissa had ``totally shattered'' him and he was feeling `ashamed'.

He said this incidenthad further lowered the image of the party which had already suffered a setback due to the Hindu-Christian riots in Gujarat and the destruction of cricket pitch by Shiv Sainiks in Delhi.

He said the ``recurrence of such incidents lends credence to my apprehension that some of the members of the Sangh Parivar are actively engaged in bringing bad name and destabilising the Vajpayee aware of their attitude towards Vajpaee since the fifties.''

The BJP leader said he had written these letters as he wanted to `atone' for what was happening in the country as these went against the very precepts of Hindutva which he had learnt at Sangh Parivar during last 50 years.``My questioning the actions of some members of the Parivar has been considered a sin. Is this my only fault,'' he asked. Khurana expressed anguish that he was not allowed to express his views at the BJP's National executive held in Jaipur and Bangalore. He said that ``policy of indecisiveness by the central leadership in Delhi during the last one yearhas been the main reason of our defeat''. He said when he mentioned the RSS meeting in Nagpur at the national executive in Bangalore, he was interrupted and ``directed not to speak any more on this subject. When I spoke on other subjects like that dedicated workers were being sidelined in a planned manner, you did not allow me to speak. As a result confusion prevailed.''