He would have got away with just the decent bits too, but for somebody who asked that he oblige with some real colour. ``We have heard so much about your love-life,'' said the hopeful guest. ``Please tell us something about it.'' At this, Jaffrey turned a colour that would have put Madhur Jaffrey's famous curries to shame. He hummed and hawed and pretended to look for a chapter that would be apt, and took so long over it, that it prompted someone to suggest, ``Why don't you just tell us from memory.''

Jaffrey obliged. What followed was an account of his escapades with a certain lady, `H' (makes one wonder: is this an autobiography or a schoolboy's diary, what?) who, following an affair with sitar maestro Ravi Shankar, was nursing a maestro complex when Jaffrey started his relationship with her. ``Ravi was always surrounded by women in his youth. He was a Krishna figure with his big eyes and full lips and his long curly hair,'' Jaffrey told his audience, which, apart from the regular hacks, included Mark Tully, who has written the foreword.

Apparently, the mysterious `H' would ask Jaffrey to play Shankar's music while he made love to her, and demanded that he synchronised his movements in bed to the tempo of the music. ``One day, this was going on when `H' got a call from Ravi Shankar. While I was trying to control my laughter, she told him, `See, I listen to your music all the time','' said Jaffrey, tickled to hiccups with his own story.

Of course, somebody asked if Ravi Shankar had read the book. ``I hope so,'' quipped Jaffrey, adding quickly, ``But I called him up before and told him what I was writing.'' His thoughtfulness doesn't stop there. Jaffrey claims that though he has talked about his affairs, he hasn't done a James Hewitt. ``I did not want to embarrass anybody, so I have not taken any names,'' he said gallantly. Obviously the kiss-and-tell allegations are a sore point, not just with Jaffrey, but also with his publishers, HarperCollins India. In the concluding address, an editor from the publishing house decided to put in her two bits to put a stop to wagging fingers. ``A lot has been said about Saeed's relationships in the book. Having known him since yesterday afternoon I can understand why so many women fell for him,'' said Ms HarperCollins, with adulation in her eyes. How very cute. Innit?