Perhaps, Information and Broadcasting Minister Pramod Mahajan should have taken some tips from former Pune MP and current Rajya Sabha Member Suresh Kalmadi for his Rs 1-crore-plus extravaganza, Satyamev Jayate, at the Hauz Khas monument in New Delhi last week. The Maharashtra Vikas Aghadi's first anniversary bash at Pune turned out to be more representative of India's freedom struggle.

Against an impressive backdrop of Mahatma Gandhi, B. R. Ambedkar and Jawaharlal Nehru at the Ganesh Kala Krida Manch, Kalmadi -- the Aghadi's founder and, ironically, the brain behind Hauz Khas Village -- had his bandwagon dressed up as Shivaji, Lokmanya Tilak, and Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose, all of them singing Sare Jahan Se Achcha. It was enough to make an enthused audience clap and Mamata Banerjee stand up to salute the `leaders'.At the event where firecrackers were shot from a flower-bedecked cannon and drums sounded deafeningly, the guest list was an impressively varied collection ofpoliticians: Shetkari Sanghatana leader Sharad Joshi, sab ki didi Mamata (who wowed the audience with her fiery speech), Kalmadi's philosopher, friend and guide Ramakrishna Hegde, and Manipur Chief Minister Nipamacha Singh. The most surprising praise came from Joshi, who described Kalmadi as Devaki's bal out to destroy all the Ravanas.

Going Coconuts

The Bombay Stock Exchange (BSE) is all set to launch its Central Depository wherein all trading in shares will be computerised. But that's only after it surmounts a small problem ahead of Monday's planned inauguration of the Rs 100-crore system. BSE officials, like all good Indians, want to break a coconut on the mainframe computer that runs the entire system, but the CMC project engineers who developed the software ruled that out for fear that the sensitive server might go nuts if a coconut is banged into it.

But considering how important the symbolic act is for kicking things off in the country, they even suggested a way out: a prefab coconut!Meaning, a coconut broken ahead of the ceremony and taped, so that it breaks with just a tap! Religion served, server saved. But it was shot down, for that would mean cheating on God. So, last heard, BSE was in hot pursuit of the most tender of tender coconuts that could accomplish the task and yet not jeopardise the server.

Very Plain Speaking

Jammu & Kashmir Chief Minister Farooq Abdullah's runaway tongue doesn't spare even his own community. When Supreme Court Chief Justice Adarsh Sein Anand visited his home state this Friday for the first time after taking over, Farooq declared he had been transferred from Jammu and Kashmir on ``political considerations'' referring obvioiusly to his transfer as Chief Justice of the High Court when militancy was at its peak in the region. Justice Anand, on his part, said the bureaucracy was responsible for being the `bottleneck' in the way of new judicial appointments. He also said that the idea of administrative tribunals was mooted by the bureaucrats onlyfor ``a slice of the judicial cake.'' All in all, a lot of plain speaking.

Violin Maestro, Yoga Master

Pandit Ravi Shankar isn't the only Indian the late Yehudi Menuhin shared a close relationship with. That is, according to jet-setting yoga exponent B. K. S. Iyengar. The inscription on a watch gifted by the maestro to Iyengar in 1954, which simply reads `To my best yoga teacher B. K. S. Iyengar', bears ample proof of this fond association. ``In 1952, when Menuhin came to Mumbai at the invitation of Jawaharlal Nehru, he heard about me and was keen that we should meet. I went to Raj Bhavan where he was staying at 7 a. m., but he was fast asleep then due to an exhausting trip. When he woke up I demonstrated yoga postures to him and showed him how he could relax with the help of the shanmukha mudra. Within 45 minutes, Menuhin was fast asleep.'' When he woke up refreshed, an amazed Menuhin asked Iyengar how he had managed it. ``I told him that I could play on the body like a musical instrument. Hisexhaustion and the pain in his fingers due to his hectic tours disappeared.'' A grateful Menuhin met Iyengar again in 1954 in Delhi for a two-week stint on the practice of yoga and even invited him to a tour of Europe later. ``The last time we communicated on yoga was in 1997 when he wanted advice on practising yoga again. We were so close mentally that although he is not physically present, his presence is still with me,'' insists Iyengar.

Bhatia's Promise

There have been human chains, signature campaigns, dharnas and fasts to protest the transfer of Pune Municipal Commissioner Arun Bhatia. Which may be why, at a public function, in a statement sure to send shivers down the spines of corrupt administrators and hoteliers, the never-say-die Bhatia promised Puneites that if ever he comes back to the city, he would work to repay his debt to them.

In a rare appearance at Ruby Hall Clinic to inaugurate the newly installed cardiac surgery machines, a visibly touched Bhatia said he believed in God, andthanked Puneites for the support they had extended to him. ``Never before in my career of 32 years have I ever received so much love from people. It was beyond my wildest imagination,'' he said, adding that he had not been able to understand what he had done to deserve it.

``I don't know if I will ever get a chance to serve here again. But if ever I do, I will repay this debt,'' said the upright bureaucrat. Reason enough for some to shudder and others to rejoice. Is the Maharashtra Government listening?

-- Anuradha Shah, Rachna Bisht Rawat and Aishwarya Mavinkurve in Pune; Vipin Pubby in Jammu; and B V Rao in Mumbai