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Dear Nitin,My US vacation still rambles on. I am in San Francisco. I love this city. The topography of this city is stunning. Views are breathtaking. Architecturally, tho' it isn't much. I'm behaving like a complete tourist, and loving it. Remember Sunil Udar? He is busy analysing people's businesses, based here in SF. I was looking thru' the local paper SF Weekly.
It's a paper you pick up free, to check out what's happening in the city like in film, music, theatre etc. I haven't seen more bizarre adverts than their `personals'. I guess you could call them the equivalent to our matrimonial cum friends/ penpals. There are pages and pages of ads under the most mindblowing headings. Sample the usual `man seeks woman', `woman seeks man' followed by `man seeks man', `woman seeks woman'. That isn't all. The headings then go into the same categories under `wild side personals'. Add to these `crossed signals' (Bi's, transvestites), `I saw you', `seeking activity partners', `others' (truly bizarre), `S&M', `missedconnections' & the terrific category which defies definition `???!!!'. I swear that is the original heading! Sample: "6.3, 30, handsome.
I seek serious degradation. Need spankings while wearing my dirty diapers..." That, my pal, is one of the LEAST risque ones! SF has one of the highest populaces of gay folk in the US. It's like a mecca. I hear that homosexuals are an amiable bunch who tolerate almost everybody. The lesbians not so. They hate anyone with male paraphernalia 'cos it's the reason for female oppression. They dislike female heteros 'cos they deem them cowards. I guess that pretty much rules everyone else out!
By the way, guess what? The head of a gay and lesbian organisation is of Indian origin Urvashi Vaidya. There was an article on her which Sunil told me about. Then there are organisations like 21st Century Drag Nuns and Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence! This sure is a democratic society. Let me give you samples of an open and democratic peoples. For Mothers Day, the SF Weekly was carryingads urging you to do something special for your parent.
Get your mom a coupon for body piercing, said one. Get your mom a tattoo, said an other! I can just picture my mom with a barbed wire tattoo on her forearm ala Pamela Anderson, as she reaches out for bhaji.
Then there is all that picketing that goes on. You can see people protesting just about anything. Outside Macy's, one of their better clothing and make-up stores, there was the embarrassment of women in your face as you stepped in. They were feminists protesting against make-up. Frankly, not a bad idea. Let's do away with the lipstick and eyeliner that is considered "normal" for a woman. In fact on days I have had none on, people have actually asked me if I was unwell or something! Yet, the last time I looked, a man with make-up was considered a freak.
Then there are the Bike Messengers. These are chaps who are local couriers on bicycles. They go on flash protests with placards which state: "When you drive past, you are killing me 10 mins at atime". They often ride in front of your car, slow as they can. At light stops they may thump your car to make a point. They would be happy only if cars were banned from this city!The other thing that boggles my mind is the attention to detail which the founding fathers of this nation paid to the simplest of tasks performed by humans. A tradition still carried on. I am referring to the bamboozling way in which everything works here. Electric switches are set to "on" by being turned down in the rest of the world. Not here. Here they are turned up.
"Off" is "on"! Plugs go straight in, no need to "switch" them on. They are permanently at "go". They drive on the right of the road. Spellings cause me to go nuts. Pronounciation? Near imposs to get that right! Schedule may be spelt the same way, but it's pronounced with a `k'. Vocabulary often means `different to accepted usage'. Looks like English, sounds like English, ain't English. Try doing your morning crossword. It's a task challenging and daunting, even tothe strong. So what did those founding fathers do? Did they come here making reams of lists, putting it as a tenet in their manifesto, that everything the rest of the world does, we gotta do the opposite? From phones to VCR systems, nothing is compatible with anyone elses. I'll tell you one thing that works right, even in the US of A -- it's knowing when to sign off a letter that is long enough. And threatening the receiver that if you don't write back, it's dire consequences for you.
Ciao, see you soon,Anu.Anuradha Tandon is a script writer and film-maker.
Copyright © 1999 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.
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This story was printed from Net Express located at http://www.expressindia.com. Net Express provides a portal to India, with news from The Indian Express and The Financial Express along with sites on travel and tourism, the entertainment industry, the power sector, the environment and much more.
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