Major Rajesh Adhikari was killed in action, nine days before his first wedding anniversary and 22 days before he was to scheduled to come home. But he has not yet made his final journey home. According to Army officials, heavy firing in the sector has made it difficult for the body to be retrieved and hope that by Thursday, the body will be on its way to Nainital, his home town.

His family is waiting. A distraught wife, a mother who believes her son is alive, a brother in mourning and sisters who don't want to think about life without Maj Adhikari - they are all waiting.

"I know my son is alive, maybeburied somewhere in the snow, but alive," says Malti Adhikari. "We have not received any written information about him. I have faith that he will come home."

Her voice does not waver once when she talks about her son. There are no tears in her eyes. "Why should I cry, even if they do confirm the news?" she asks. "Everyone dying there is my son and I pray that next time I get 10 sons, all for the country. He once told me that I was a brave mother and I am a proud mother too."

Her faith makes everyone in the family cling to a last, "flickering hope" that Major Adhikari will come back. "We are all just living in hope," says Kiran. "He spoke to me a few days before we heard the news. He mentioned that he might not be able to call again because it was difficult getting through and that we should not worry."

The family didn't worry then, but now they worry all day. "We just want a note telling us what exactly is happening," says Shyam Singh Adhikari, Major Adhikari's brother. "We know it is difficult for theArmed Forces but waiting is very difficult for us too."

On June 9 last year, a four-year acquaintance between Kiran and Maj Adhikari was solemnised into a marriage. "He always said that one day, I would be proud of my husband," Kiran recalls. "Today I am, but now it has become a matter of our lives also."

Kiran adds: "He loved the Army and there were never any second thoughts about joining it. He couldn't think of a life beyond the Army. He would have a very amused look on his face if anyone asked him what alternate profession he might have joined."

"You know, he was a very good singer," adds Mamata, Major Adhikari's younger sister. "He was good with the guitar too. And he also loved nature."

Sitting together, the Adhikari family recalls moments spent with the Major. "He would write everyday," Kiran says. "He has been in the Valley for a year now and despite the situation there, he always wrote about how beautiful the place was. He was supposed to go back to his parent unit in a month, after cominghome on June 22. Now, we don't know."