But as television brings images of death and destruction from the battle front to our drawing rooms, it raises several questions as to why can't a bereaved family have a few moments of private grief. Shouldn't it be the first one to know before the media flashes all over the news of a hero's death and why some martyrs still die unsung?

While official sources maintain it is the family which is first informed of the soldiers death and the news conveyed to the media 24 hours later and sometimes after four days, recent instances suggest otherwise.

The family of Sergeant Kishore Sahu, whose MI-17 was downed by the Pakistanis, learned of it in the middle of their dinner when the news was flashed on TV.

"The electronic media is new here with television crews right there on the spot filming how the deadbodies are brought down and names announced. Now, the Army has to evolve a procedure and Kargil will be a good example in streamlining and evolving a procedure in conveying news of soldiers' death," says a faculty member of the Indian Defence Studies and Analysis (IDSA).

However, the Army PRO, while maintaining that the family is the first to receive such death messages, says sometimes messages are delayed due to the "remoteness of a place or some other problem".

"We are a huge country and we should streamline our communication which should be possible with modern technology," says Ved Marwah of the Centre For policy research, noting that "it is a cruel thing to learn the news of death of one's kin from the media thus compounding the already serious grief.

"The media is not anti-national. If they are given quick and accurate information, it will determine the relationship between the Armed Force and the media," says Marwah.

Insisting that "our aim is to keep the media informed", the Army PRO says "weget news from the battlefield, they come to the division headquarters, then to the core headquarter and then us. And we in turn inform the media."

Explaining the procedure of the Government conveying news of soldier's death, the IDSA faculty member says, "There is a standard format. If the field area does not have a post office, an Army signal is sent to the nearest Army headquarter from where a civil telegram is sent to the victim's residence.

"Thereafter as and when the body is sent under military escort depending on entitlement, a military funeral is accorded."

Soldiers who lose their lives in harness are accorded full military honours as laid down in the defence services regulations but there have also been some reports of unsung heroes, raising questions on the efficacy of such a system.

Army officials are quick to deny any suggestion of discrimination between officers and the lower ranks saying there cannot be a conscious discrimination.

"If somebody is from a remote village and there is nocontingency, you cannot hold up a body for so long, so funeral rites are immediately performed by the family on its own. Administratively, it is sometimes not possible to accord due honours," says Retd Air Marshal Denzil Keelor.