A TV exit poll is a bit like baigan ka bharta (apologies to the brinjal): there's the basic pulp combined thoroughly so with many other ingredients, you don't know what the brown mess is on your plate until you taste it -- yummy!.

Exit polls: tasty; whet your appetite (for the election results). But so many ingredients, so finely blended, it's messy and confusing. Alongwith the basic mass of information, there's caste, creed, religion, gender, last vote, past vote, national, regional, swing-shing, percentages, graphs, pies, maps, alliances, old alliances, new alliances, no alliances... hickory-dickory dock!

Then, they're all these frighteningly well-informed people: psephologists (that's `p' silent, and the first syllable rhymes with deaf), market researchers, pollsters (are they one and the same? Who knows and who cares?); TV anchors, political analysts and politicians. They reject the polls, welcome the polls, refute each other; they condemn, argue, splithairs/figures, berate, prevaricate, obfuscate, marinate (told you it was confusing!).

All in a crush of one-hour.

DD1 (after the third round of polling): one table, six serious men seated so close, their feet must have been hemmed together. Mr.Narasimha Rao, resident pseph. Anchor Manoj Raghuvanshi (Vinod Dua to Rao's Prannoy Roy), explain the DRS exit poll, its accuracy, its methodology (because the Congress rubbished the first one). We were held perplexed for close to 15 minutes by the explanations and the panellists' (un)helpful interventions.

Panellists. From left to right -- journalist Prabhu Chawla: wrote copiously spoke sparingly; Congressman Jairam Ramesh: transformed certain defeats into improbable victories; BJP's Arun Jaitley/V.K. Malhotra (they often hunt in pairs) pooh-poohed Ramesh. When they could stop smiling, that is; journalist Saeed Naqvi: his hypothesis that this was the most ``secular'' election of all was greeted with a communal silence.

STAR News Channel's Exit Poll. Sorry,that's the Insight Exit Poll on STAR -- and don't you ever forget it. Lest you did -- forget -- anchor Vikram Chandra was on hand to remind you. And remind you...Chandra placed the results (which predict a sizeable NDA victory) squarely on the broad shoulders of Mr.Nehal Mehad, pseph. Who stood by his findings like a knight by his lady: gallantly. Dorab Supariwalla, pollster, market researcher, no less gallantly stood by Mr Nehad. Mahesh Rangarajan, political analyst, was very, very careful: a swing of one per cent here or two there could overset the projected results, he would caution. And so to the politicians. Munde in Mumbai welcomed the results, Aiyar in Delhi dismissed them, questioned the competency of the pollsters. That set everyone off again...

Exit polls are good for the big picture. But the details? Got so bemused that by the end thought Bhumiars were fighting Lingayats and Jayalalitha was pitted against herself. By October 6, there could be 10 exit polls. If you want them to stop, not becauseyou are against freedom of expression (no never), not because you are influenced by them (me? never) but because they have made baigan ka bharta out of you, there's just one option: shorter elections.

From an election tour to one of newish serials:

Noorjehan (DD1): Lavish, outdoor historical drama, with great costumes and sand storms. Some appropriate histrionics from Parikshit Sahni and Ranjeeta as his begum. Such a change from the usual DD mix of gods and the serial mortals he/she didn't create in their likeness.

Nyaya (DD2): first evening, prime time, daily soap. Slow to move but move it does. A couple of lawyers (as in husband and wife) fight injustice and each other. He's in love and bed with her best friend; she's lying next to him with her worst suspicions. There is more. Restrained performances from actors, musicians and the director.

Waaris (Zee): Better to be a love child than the legitimate daughter, laments Arundhati the legit one who's father leaves mom and herin debt. Illegit Nandita is sitting comfortably on Rs.15 crores. Ashutosh Rana makes doe eyes at both and, somehow, you feel he will betray both.

Naya Zamana (Zee): People from different backgrounds meet and part ways. Rama the bai, her man Kadam and Laxmi who is missing but is perhaps sold to a Arab; Jaya the laywer for the downtrodden who happens to be a friend of the college Principal who is battling against a student agitation against the rustication of one pupil...and so it goes on. Slice of life serial. Watch it.

Agnipath (DD2): His name is nobody, sorry Janakram. Hated by his daughter, reviled by his son, a worker in his factory; presumably not very popular with his comatose wife, Meenakshi, who tried to commit suicide. Janakram, underground don. Interesting but the role is too big to Shahbaaz Khan.