While meeting the Big B was bit of a surreal experience, Ms Dixit (somehow you never cuddle up to her enough to call her Mads or Madhuri even) was an entirely different matter. Do you blame me? All the men in my life go jelly-kneed when it comes to her. My cousin, a declared misogynist, just falls for the bare back that Ms Dixit generously exposes in Prem Granth -- same goes for my brother, my father, my friend.... How do I react? In a manner some would call typically woman-like, I would just find fault with her, and as you can imagine it is a tough job. Try this for sample. She has big teeth? Are you kidding that is the most amazing thing about her! Okay, how about her not so flattering figure? I can swear that some of those tyres showthrough in those belly-dance routines. Not a bad effort, but it appears that most men like it that way.

What's the point. I am not trying to compare with her (God knows I couldn't) but she is so perfect for the type you just love to hate. At least I do -- and this assignment gave me an opportunity to just check things out for myself. And although it is not right for a reporter to do so, I did go with a teeny weeny feeling of ``Well, Ms Perfect, let's see what stuff you're really made of?''

To make matters worse, she was teamed up with another Ms Beautiful. Madhuri was launching a new book by her new-found girlfriend, designer Ritu Beri. The the dark humour of it all a book titled 101 Ways to Look Your Best. Going to one of those fake social dos where people cannot get in one sensible sentence is bad enough; going to celebrate somebody like Ritu Beri in her avatar as style guru was just something else! It's like you need that advice so desperately that you've come all the way to the launch. At this point,you must be thinking, this woman thinks she is a reporter with all these personal complexes built in! But don't forget that I am a woman too.

With my preference for simplicity, I do not like Beri's clothes, but you could see the effort put in that day to be different. She did away with the waifish models and replaced them with waifish mannequins; none of her designer friends were in sight; and to top it all, it was a morning affair.As Madhuri was late, people just hung around waiting for the diva to stage an entrance. The corporate, media and social biggies were all there. When they met Ritu, they would put in a request, ``How about putting in a good word and introducing her to us?''

And then she came. The scene could almost have been written the way Pope described Belinda's movement in Rape of the Lock all those hungry eyes just looking at her. Only, they couldn't see much amidst the sea of photographers. Their frames just couldn't get enough of her.

I have to admit, the woman is be-autiful with a bigB and somehow all my cynicism just dissipated. Of co-urse, what kind of an independent woman goes around everywhere with her mum and dad, but I don't know, maybe it is sweet and maybe it was an effort to hold on to her identity. It wouldn't be too hard to just lose yourself amidst all this adulation.

What really impressed me was this one incident when Beri's `I-run-the-show-here' kind of assistant just pushed in and snapped at me, ``I told you, not more than two questions!'' Before I could say a word to Ms Snotty-Face, Madhuri just flashed her pearly whites and floored both of us with: ``She has just asked me one. So it's okay.'' I could not have been more taken aback. She then answered all my feisty queries till I was satisfied.

The lesson I learnt: don't hate them because they are beautiful! Ms Dixit, I may not be your greatest fan but I think that as a person, you're all right. And I doubt if your marriage is going to turn away all those die-hard fans the men in my life included.