What sort of feelings do you experience at this point of time when you have completed 40 years in theatre? Does the Kalidas Sammanmake you feel fulfilled?
I feel both fulfilled and frustrated at the same time. The Kalidas Samman is naturally a prestigious honour. But this recognition raises questions. What more now? What do I aspire for? I received the Sangeet Natak Akademi Award in 1971-72. Since I thought it had come too early in life, I had to justify it. So the struggle to strive to be better continued. But that is not the case now. I am a bit disoriented about the future course of action. What kind of theatre should I do that will make a difference to viewers?

In fact, some friends, in jest, recently asked me to stop. It is but natural. How much of one person's work can people, even friends, watch over the years? They are bound to either feel bored or exhausted. And that is how one loses friends. More so, if one is considered an `experimental-difficult-to-understand' type'.

Is it particularly difficult to continue doing theatre in a city like Mumbai?
I have no complaints about life in Mumbai. I have had my bestmoments here. But, of course, life has changed and become harder. The city is fractured. Travelling has become time-consuming and expensive. As a result, one has to cut down on many things, including theatre. I myself have seen less theatre in recent years. One visit to the Prithvi theatre costs me a bomb.

How about the mechanics of getting dates for your plays in different auditoria in the city?
That is even worse. Mainly because I do not do plays to match with choice dates. I stage a play only when I think it is the right time. I do not rush for the Saturday-Sunday slot. On the contrary, I perform on weekdays. And I have deliberately maintained low ticket rates.It is quite unfortunate that as a senior director, despite my standing and name, I do not enjoy any privileges in any of the theatres of the city. My new play Bekar Ki Bak Bak is struggling hard to find a venue for the first performance. And I am not a person to stand in a queue and please the management for dates either at the NCPA(National Centre for Performing Arts) or at Prithvi.

So, all these factors make every production a challenge. And these formalities get even more frustrating with age. Not that they hold me back. I keep fighting them as I did before.

Do these chores make you a bitter person?
More than bitterness, I feel helpless and angry. I get saddled with activity that I do not like. I miss the charm, fun and magic of doing theatre. I cannot be part of social movements, be it the dilemma of the adivasis or predicament of women today. I want be part of hot discussions, intelligent conversations. But the technicalities make me irrelevant to myself. I do not get an opportunity to make a difference, which has always been my goal.

Does your creativity suffer?
Sometimes it does. But, sometimes, tension gives rise to great work. For instance, when I was in London I was alone, that too without money. Obviously, I could not move around extensively. During this time I wrote two one-act plays (Daddy Dear,May I Ask A Question, The Show Must Go On), a one-man show (Bus Itta Sa which is being currently rehearsed by Amrish Puri), and another full-length play It Could Only Happen in London.

So the pressure of being in a foreign land made me live up to my expectations. And once in a while it is always good to surprise friends.

Why have you never fallen for films?
I have done some film assignments. But somehow it did not click. My film Shantata Court Chalu Ahe did not do well. I think I am at my best only in theatre. Theatre has been a good wife, so why desert her now?

The glamour associated with films does not attract me at all. The best of today's Hindi film artistes, including Naseeruddin Shah and Amrish Puri have received training under me. Even today I hold workshops for actors and playwrights. Leading Marathi playwrights, directors and actors have attended these workshops. If I do films, which is quite a difficult and laborious exercise unlike the popular impression, I will miss this exchangeof thoughts. And for me, talking is a very important means of living.

Apart from Shyam Benegal's Discovery of India, you have not been associated with any television assignments of late. Does this medium not enchant you?
I never wanted to become a second-rate writer of inane tele-serials and tele-films. I believe there can be nothing great on television. The medium wipes out everything everyday. Discovery of India was a rare exception.

Benegal used the medium to inform and educate. But in most cases, TV is not put to intelligent use. I hate chat shows in which comperes like Karan Thapar initiate high-pitched, half-baked 15-minute debates, which are abruptly ended showing a false sense of urgency.Actually one can use the medium in a more fascinating manner. There could be a complete channel on the shastrartha tradition. One can teach history through TV. Or question it.

Who says Aurangzeb was a bad ruler? He was just made out to be that. If we see things in a different light, our neighbours(Pakistan) may lose half their agenda. These and many other myths can be demolished. But no one does this. People in the media have become very fundamentalist. This is far more dangerous than religious fundamentalism.