A wild one

A wild one
Bella Jainsinghani

JANUARY 01: Is this a movie or the worst joke in all these 99 years? Suneel Darshan's Jaanwar has no semblance of a script, continuity, editing sense, music or story. If your time were insured you'd have probably got the highest damages awarded in history.

A Yanni-like Akshay Kumar, Karisma Kapoor and Shilpa Shetty are entangled in a Kunwara Baap kind of scenario. But juxtapose any one shot of Mahmood in that film before all of Jaanwar and you'll cry for mercy.

Akshay is the blackened goon who turns to earning an honest livelihood as an ironsmith after fate thrusts a child into his custody. Karisma plays a street singer who earns to support herself and her uncle's alcoholism. And going by her rich costumes and fashion accessories, little wonder that she has no money left for household provisions. Shilpa Shetty and Mohnish Behl are the parents of the child, who return to reclaim him after seven years.

The end is a predictably happy one where the foster father is invited to live with the boy inhis palatial home. Anand-Milind may have done Mera yaar dildar for this film, but if the rest of the songs are original, they have some explaining to do. The dialogues offer comic relief what with Shakti Kapoor referring to his apprentice `goondas' as puppies. And Karisma gets a priceless Freudian slip which goes, ``Aisi kaun si mushkil thi jo mujh se badhkar thi?''

The violence in this movie is revolting, even perverse, especially the scene where the little child is shown being mauled by ferocious dogs who look like they'd been starved for days before the scene was shot. Incidentally, the law of probability doesn't exist anymore. The car which Akshay Kumar and Ashutosh Rana use to escape from the police does a remarkable long jump, lands bang on its bonnet, and goes up in flames, but the two don't even break a bone. Neither does cop Ashish Vidyarthi, whose vehicle suffered a similar fate. But in the next scene, Akshay is shown being treated for an innocuous bullet wound. Then there's this bloomer.

Thehero has committed murder and is pondering his fate before a bonfire that night, when the lost child comes over to him. When they wake the next morning there's a pile of raw wood by their side, not a patch of black where the bonfire burnt. If you're one for miracles, Jaanwar is for you. If you're not, you can thank God for Johnny Lever.