Periscope on Pakistan

Periscope on Pakistan

The jailbird sings

You will be glad to know, meray aziz humwatno, that I am not wasting my time in jail. I have been writting very nice poems. Here is one on the new millennium:

So. Farewell then, Goodbye, Ta ta, The last thousand years. Yes, a lot of things has happened During this time the big tragedy Was two in number One marriage of Madhuri Dixit The other was martial la Of Ghaddar Praiz Musharraf The other things that Happened are too many To write about In a short poem Don't be sad that ghaddar people have not come out Far you, Nawaz They are driving Heppily on Motorway

Besides writting poems, I am also planning a jail break along with Shabaz Saab, Saif Saab, Shaid Khaqan Saab, Ghaus Ali Shah Saab and Rana Maqbool Saab. We have made one decision, that we will at all times be very polite to jail staff. For example when we overpower the colonel and his faujis we will smile and say: "Please excuse us, we are doing our duty just like you are doing yours. So let's be nice to eachother."

Then we will hold a gun to the colonel's head and ask if he minds being tied up. After which we will tie him up. Then we will ask the colonel the way out and when he has showed us, we will ask him if he could possibly lie on top of his colleagues who we will also tie up and get them to lie on the floor. To everyone we will offer a personal apology and everyone will lie in a big heap together. Before we leave the jail, we will count our bullets and if there are only ten, I will say: "If things go wrong I'm afraid we'll only be able to kill ten of you at the most, sorry about that." The second last thing we will do before leaving is to strip everyone of their wallets and their watches but not before apologising profusely to everyone. The last thing we will do is to invite everybody to join the PML. When we all sit together, we sing John Lenin's song: Imagine.

Imagine no possessions It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only Park Lane flats Operated through an off-shore companyStretching to the sky

-- NS (for Nawaz Sharif, the column satirises the former PM)