Read books to understand daughters sexuality

I brought her to this world,have to see to it that she lives a full life: filmmaker Chitra Palekar.

Listen to this article

00:00

1x 1.5x 1.8x

When Shalmalee Palekar told her parents Chitra and Amol Palekar about her sexuality,her mothers first reaction was to read up whatever material was available on homosexuality. We had always given her the freedom to make her own choices in life. So I wanted to support her. But I could hardly understand what she was trying to say since I didnt know any homosexual person then. So I asked Shalmalee to get me some books on the subject, says Chitra.

Shalmalee did that diligently. Even after she moved to Australia to pursue higher studies in post-colonial literature,she would often send her mother books on the lesbian,gay,bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community.

Now,nearly two decades after that incident,Chitra,a filmmaker,has become one of the prominent voices in India favouring decriminalisation of homosexual relationships. She is one of the 19 parents to have filed an application in the Supreme Court recently,countering the claims that overturning Section 377 would attack the family values on which our society is based.

The petition urges the Supreme Court to uphold the Delhi High Court decision to strike down Section 377. It states,It is Section 377 which She read books to understand her daughters sexuality is a threat to family values,as it directly affects the rights of the applicants to safeguard their families from illegal and arbitrary intrusion from the state authorities.

According to Chitra,family values are the same for all. You have to stay committed to each other,love your family and friends,not cause anyone any harm,and things like that, she says. These social values are something her daughter and her partner as well as many in the gay community have followed,just like others true to a relationship have.

Chitra,in recent years,has not shied away from mentioning Shalmalees partner when talking about her daughters life in Perth or other regular things. Shalmalee,a professor in the department of English and Cultural Studies at the University of Western Australia,is currently visiting India to research for her project Queer India.

Initially,I had left it to Shalmalee how much she wanted to talk about her private life. But some years back,like any regular mother,I also wanted to mention her life and her partner while chatting with friends. Dont mothers talk about their son getting his girlfriend home for dinner? she asks. If her friends were surprised,they never showed it to her.

Story continues below this ad

Over the years,Shalmalees partner too has endeared herself to Chitra and her family. Every year,she visits us along with my daughter. She loves Mumbai and loves to attend Indian weddings, says Chitra,who bonds with her family when in Australia.

If all this sounds unconventional,Chitra blames it on her stint with experimental theatre and cinema. Im used to doing things differently. Shalmalee admits that such unstinted support from her and Amol has been crucial to her sense of self.

At the bottom of all her support for Shalmalee,however,is the worlds most secure relationship. Im only being a mother. I brought her to this world and I have to see to it that she lives a full life.