If we examine the issue, the reasons become clear. In the interest of doing what we think is the best, most children have to experience and do activities that adults plan. But while we talk about being child-centric, the perception is adult centric. Everything we devise is from the point of view of the adult and not the child. If a child paints a leaf red, we instantly say it is wrong. But maybe, the child associates the leaf with the colour red in his world of make-believe. Why should it be considered wrong?

As children grow, they automatically adjust to reality. There is a mad rush to buy toys that have educational value; why cannot toys be just for fun? Isn’t ‘fun’ a very potent learning experience? One must realise that the true potential of a child emerges much later, and it would be so much better if we did not make it our mission in life to make every little child a genius. What a burden we place on those frail shoulders! In the words of a child in Little Prince, “Grownups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: ‘What does his voice sound like?’ ‘What games does he like best?’ ‘Does he collect butterflies?’ They ask: ‘How old is he?’ ‘How many brothers does he have?’ ‘How much does he weigh?’ ‘How much money does his father make?’ Only then do they think they know him.”

In the midst of the mad rush for ‘arriving’ in life, the needs of the child are forgotten. It is all about what you can achieve through the child. Parental expectations are high to the point of being unreasonable, and this literally robs the child of the joys of childhood.

Today’s parents often try to fulfil their aspirations through their child. Their child has to do better than everyone else. They do not give him any room for failure. Is this fair? Where is the time to enjoy the world of fantasy, to enter the world of make-believe, and chase after butterflies and dreams? Time after time I have had frustrated and distraught students ask me, “If all parents came first in class as they claim, who ever came second?”

The pressure to perform and win the appreciation of their parents is so intense that the child is denied the luxury of revelling in and enjoying what he does. The elder son, Yohan, in the movie is by any definition a high achiever. But there is no evidence of any joy in what he is doing. His achievement on the tennis court is belittled and yet his sole aim is to live up to his father’s expectations. He has also been denied the carefree excitement of childhood. This is not what any child should be subjected to, bright or otherwise. It also makes one question the understanding of being ‘bright’. Does everything have to be quantified as marks and percentages? We need to reward effort and equate that with a quest for excellence. After all, hard work, sincerity and dedication must count for more than the marks in an exam. Recognition of the above will infuse children with confidence in themselves and motivate them to aim even higher. They will find joy in what they are doing. And a happy child will always learn to his potential.

We also are intolerant of differences in children and don’t realise that like the five fingers in the hand, children are also different. They have different strengths and different interests and cannot all be put into the same straitjacket. Children march to varied tunes and need to be lauded and loved for what they can achieve. It is important to imbue in every child the feeling of security that he is loved and appreciated for what he is and not for what he is expected to be. He must be cocooned in the unconditional love of his family.

In our society, differently-abled children are given short shrift. Firstly, we need to understand that all children with developmental problems cannot be labelled together. As with bodily ailments, these deficiencies have a wide spectrum and are of varying degrees of severity and need appropriate strategies to help children deal with them. They are a part of society and are entitled to a happy childhood like everyone else. With sensitive handling and development of their strengths, they will also grow into useful members of society. It is important to bolster self-esteem and get them ready to “go forth unafraid”. As a society we need to mature and accept disabilities as a part of the rhythm of human life and not as a thing apart. It is this stigma that is attached to a ‘different’ child that sends parents into denial and prevents them from seeking help at the earliest.

When the Learning Centre in a school is referred to, the instant reaction is, “it is a place for the retarded”. Why should the word retarded be used in such a pejorative manner? Is it a crime? It never fails to amaze me that even highly educated parents often object if their children are made to study with the differently-abled. If Ishaan in the movie had received the right kind of help when he was younger, how much of misery he would have been saved. There are hundreds of Ishaans out there crying for help. With the help of such movies and by using the power of the media we need to bring about an attitudinal change in society.

Teacher training curriculum must address this. Our current teacher training programmes are woefully inadequate in equipping teachers to understand and empathise with children who need more help than others and in educating them to practise inclusion and the strategies that can be used. Teachers need to be sensitised and trained to handle children with learning problems and the problems of first generation learners.

The lack of training and awareness leads to children like Ishaan being labelled as dumb and foolish. No child is born that way; if they become so, we adults are responsible.

The writer is principal, Sanskriti School, New Delhi gishwaran@yahoo.co.in