Does ace lensman Anil Mehta, who's first feature this is, pull it off? Not really. Nachle comes off, in most part, as flat and one-dimensional. If you try putting a finger through the screen, it will come up against a fake house in a fake village: Lagaan’s village was also built for the movie, but that was set in the past. This is here and now, and the artifice of the tricked-up set rubs off on the film.

Does Madhuri conquer? Not really. Just so we won't expect the Mads she used to be, Dia's a mommy. She's given a chatty daughter for company, not a lover. Her smile still lights up the screen. And though she’s not as lissome as she was, she still has killer moves. But she’s not played to her strengths. The vapid script keeps her flitting about so much among the tackily-written characters, that she only just about gets to dance. And then she’s given rows of faceless extras for back-up. Except for the title track, there’s not much happening in the choreography, and the grand finale drags on and on. Where’s that one scintillating solo?

Nope, Ms M, you'll have to harness another comeback vehicle. This one’s not going anywhere in a hurry.