Teachers as morons: This is the revenge of the back-bencher. Teachers in our ads either impart ridiculous lessons to students (a la the Himalayan guru in the Sprite baki sab bakwas ad) or are completely unaware of what’s going on around them. “The Mentos ad where the kid walks out and walks in, with the teacher hardly noticing the difference, the Killer jeans commercial where the student cheats from notes tucked in his underwear strap… the list could go on,” says Halve. 

Rajasthan equals rural India: Think villages and ads give you the golden sand of Rajasthan (Fevicol, Chlormint, ITC water communication, Voltas) This is one Orientalist straitjacket that creative directors can’t seem to escape. “We give Indians a tourist’s eye-view of their own country. We seem to run away from the real rural India because we are often ashamed of its reality,” says Desai. Kamlesh blames the limitations of city-centric imagination for the clichéd representation. “Most of these people have no idea how an Indian village has changed in the last 10 years, where you can even buy cornflakes for a price.”

Sufiana tracks as background music: When soul-stirring Sufi music is used for a cycle ad—urging the rider to scale new heights (Hero)— or a mobile phone ad, one has to wonder about overkill. In fact, Sufi music appears to have replaced the jingle.

Star power: First it was Amitabh Bachchan, who endorsed everything from Dabur Chavanprash to Uttar Pradesh. Next came Shah Rukh Khan and Sachin Tendulkar and now we have Saif Ali Khan, Sania Mirza, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Rani Mukherji and the junior Bachchan. “We call them video vampires in ad parlance because they end up selling themselves more than the brand. Latching on to a celebrity shows a bankruptcy of ideas,” says Pandey. “Do you think the audience will believe that Shah Rukh, who can afford the costliest cars in the world, will drive a Santro or Big B use Navratna hair oil?” says Pandey. Nah.

... contd.