Blue

Rating:*

Sunken treasure. The incredible azure hue of the Pacific. Sleek boats. Sleeker females. And alpha males. Everything about ‘Blue’ promises to be a crackerjack underwater adventure,but it’s hard to keep your eyes open while it’s on. Even the killer sharks are soporific.

Sagar (Sanjay) knows where the ‘khazana’ is,but is not telling. His hand is forced when younger brother Sam (Zayed) has to ante up millions of dollars or be killed by bad guy Rahul Dev. Aarav (Akshay) fuels up his boat and joins them,and a-hunting the trio go in fathoms deep water and an old,old ship on the ocean bed.

It’s not as if there’s anything amiss with the setting. Can’t go wrong with the sunshine-y Bahamas. It’s not as if Akshay and Sanjay haven’t played muscled action heroes before.

They are known to do that sort of thing well enough. But there’s very little right about the way this film pans out,with its low levels of excitement,and even lower engagement.

Akshay is no longer playing parts. He’s doing Akshay-in-a-thin-French-beard-and-shaved-and-buffed chest. Sanjay has bulked out around his waist,so can’t afford to strip,but gets his chance to float and dive. Lara fulfils her job description,which is to look great in her bikinis. Katrina is a blink-and-miss,and Kylie is a bump-and-grind.

Lone saving grace: it wraps at just under two hours.