Childless Wonders

However,there is still a strong belief across different stratas of the society that when finally married,it is the bounden duty of every husband and wife to instantly procreate.

Couples who decide to wait a while before dropping a sprog are often emotionally blackmailed into action by aging family members,who are always,inexplicably desperate to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Those who have still not produced a child even after a few years of marriage

are considered either

secretly gay,infertile,impotent or indeed,all of the aforementioned.

The notion that a happily married,fully functional heterosexual couple can wilfully elect not to have a baby is still beyond the comprehension of most members of our society.

My wife and I are the classic DINK couple – Double Income No Kids. The fact that we prefer to spend our money on ourselves rather than providing for any progeny for a lifetime is deemed highly selfish. But the great hubris involved in wanting to spawn one’s seed and perpetuate one’s legacy is somehow deemed entirely selfless by the procreating public at large.

After 10 years of childless connubial bliss,I find it hilarious when people ask why we bothered getting married in the first place. Matrimony,they half-joke,is the heavy price you pay to produce a legal heir. They simply cannot fathom that a marriage can flourish merely on love,trust and companionship and doesn’t always require a child to bind the family unit together.

“Men and women are genetically programmed to procreate. It is unnatural not to want a child. Just have a baby then you will see what you are missing out on.” Such arguments are invariably forwarded by well-intentioned friends who are convinced we are wilfully forsaking the absolute best experience that life has to offer.

“It’s not that we don’t love kids,we just love each other more!” I wearily argue. “Other people’s kids are great. In really small doses.”

A smug father of three brats recently emailed me a survey that suggests that childless couples are more likely to get divorced than those with kids as the latter make more effort to stay together.

I know plenty of couples that confide they are trapped in a miserable marriage but feel compelled to suffer through it because of the guilt of what divorce will do to their children. Therefore,they blatantly lie,cheat and abuse their spouse but still remain legally wedded to one another.

We have gradually become hugely accepting of homosexuality in urban India. I look forward to a day when they will become equally accepting of us childless wonders. Till then,DINK remains a four-letter word.

Fahad Samar is a filmmaker,inveterate traveller and intrepid chronicler of society

samarofdiscontent@gmail.com