Dear Indian Foreign Service

Officers: Don’t worry about job security. I plan to start a new “Ministry of Coalition and Outside Allies”. Your diplomatic skills will be useful in helping my government deal with Comrades Karat/ Yechury/ Bardhan, Writer Karunanidhi, Poet Kanimozhi, Farmer Pawar, Pilot Patel, Railwayman Lalu, Disgruntled Yadav, Now-in-now-out TRS Leaders, Father-Daughter PDP duo, Now-in-jail-now-out JMM Leaders and our latest friends from the SP. “Coalition and Allied Affairs” is far better than boring “Foreign Affairs”. Do not worry about foreign trips and access to duty-free goods. You will accompany these leaders on foreign junkets which will please them no end and help you keep up the life-style that you are accustomed to. Officers accompanying the Comrades will of course have to go to Cuba and North Korea. You can bring back duty-free Cuban cigars and enriched uranium in your hand luggage.

The writer divides his time between Mumbai and Bangalore

jerry.rao@expressindia.com