• Yummy Mummy:

She has a deep, almost academic belief in the sanctity of motherhood — “there is no such thing as a non-working mother.” Her daughter’s 10th bubble-gum pink “Mulan” themed birthday will be the event of the month. Other mummies will be very impressed by the imaginative choice of sweeties in the doggie bag. Yummy Mummys are acutely intuitive: on demand, they can furnish from their bags foil-wrapped healthy snacks and felt tip pens for their bratty progeny.

• Hijabi Mummy (No pun intended):

These mummys are not to be messed with. Reared on a diet of stoical reserve, they meet and greet with care. Social and political discussions take on intense colours. Instead of the customary “Khuda Hafiz”, they take pride in saying “Allah Hafiz”.