At last. No more watching the very latest, up-to-date lack of news about Rai-Bachchan, or Jolie-Pitt and Hurley-Nayar; no more hiding behind Bani or Saloni’s tears, Parvati or Tulsi’s years; and certainly no more palmistry with Shah Rukh Khan. As he would say, “Freeze it”. The dreaded evening is upon us.

Say goodbye to friend and foe alike; bid farewell to family and strangers, switch off the computer, the mobile, the brain. Settle back and make yourself as comfortable as possible for 52 nights of undisturbed sleeplessness. Irritability. Anger. Frustration. Ghostly figures running up and down before your eyes. That’s right: For each one of you who hates the sight and sound of cricket, what can we say but wear a blindfold, cotton wool your ears and pretend you’re snoring. Or else, take a long, cruise — but not to the Caribbean.

It’s World Cup 2007, from today.

And it had better be better than the telecast of the warm-up matches last week. Max treated it less seriously than the Indian team. There were few score lines, fewer stump visions, rare replays and missing action. They could not wait for an over to be completed before they broke for the real thing. You know, a word from the sponsors, or 15 from the advertiser. Aaaargh. Think of what we missed: Irfan Pathan running into bowl his 5 no-balls/wides in a row!

Moreover, how can you have a match in which India is playing without an Indian commentator — even if it was only Charu Sharma (you know, the guy who gets to sit next to Mandira Bedi for the next six weeks?) We heard from Tony Cozier, Michael Holding, Jeff Dujon, John Wright and closer to home, Aamir Sohail, but no Indian heart beating in the commentary box — dil hai ke manta nahin! We can only suppose that Max is deliberately withholding its best for the tournament. It has to be good, otherwise...

... contd.