Director: Atul Agnihotri

One night in a call centre, there comes a phone call. Really, a phone call in a call centre, cries Salman Khan (playing himself), in mock amazement. Pretty laptop-toting story-teller (Katrina) smiles mysteriously, and begins her yarn. And as yarns go, it isn't too bad. The trouble with ‘Hello’, based on Chetan Bhagat's mega-seller, is that isn't too good either.

It's a dark rainy night, and Shyam aka Sam ( Sharman) is hurting because the love of his life Priyanka ( Gul) has said yes to a rich NRI. Varun aka Vrroom (Sohail) has his eye on Esha ( Isha), but all she wants is to become a model. Radhika (Amrita) tries to please her horrible mom-in-law by day, and pops anti-depressants by night because her husband is a two-timing cad. And Military Uncle (Sharat) is upset because his US-based son wants to have nothing to do with him.

These sad sack call centre agents rattle around in a large room with work stations placed miles apart. That's a total wrong number. Except for a barmy systems guy, and smarmy boss (Dalip), there doesn't seem to be a soul else in Atul Agnihotri's scheme of things: he's clearly not aware of all those rows and rows of super-busy souls-- sitting elbow-to-elbow, nattering the night away on their headphones and mikes-- that seem to be more the norm in these nocturnal work hives echoing with faux American accents.

You could also call ‘Hello’ a case of six characters in search of a zingy script. Bhagat's novel is not literature, but manages to capture some of the hurly-hurly of New India's preoccupation with instant money, getting ahead and greenbacks. The film's canvas is largely empty, so the good turn by Sharman Joshi gets lost. As does some genuinely funny banter, and the Khan family's full turn-out (Salman with his shirt off, girl-friend Kat in a cameo, `chota bhai' Arbaaz in a walk on) on account of Agnihotri being the Khans' brother-in-law.

Even that thing that call centre types are allegedly indulging in all the time—making out on down-time in the back of convenient SUVs —pictured here on Sharman and Gul, lacks fire. It's tepid, just like the movie.