What do actors who no longer act do? They play themselves. Reality shows have been career-savers for them. At least, they’re still out there before our eyes, doing something, anything to catch our attention, pay their bills and hope some kind TV producer will appreciate them for themselves, enough to offer them either another reality check or even, an acting assignment.

These stars of yesteryear have had plenty of choice: From the first tentative steps in dance shows like Nach Baliye or Jhalak Dikhla Jaa and comic turns in Comedy Circus, it has been onward forward to the do-and-dare variety of Khatron Ke Khiladi or Iss Jungle Se Mujhe Bachao. Once physically exhausted by such exertion, there’s a chance to lie back and behave badly on Bigg Boss.

Now NDTV Imagine has found a new way to (pre)occupy them with Pati Patni aur Woh, where childless star couples play parents to little babies. Before we embark on this unusual romp, let’s repeat the question: what do actors who no longer act do? Make fools of themselves. Nothing could be more foolish than Apurva Agnihotri wearing a pregnancy contraption for wife Shilpa who cannot carry ‘the baby’ because she has a bad toe... sorry, back. Nothing could be more foolish than the women who treat the babies like plastic dolls pulling them this way and that, or bouncing them up and down like rubber balls and then wondering why they cry.

There have been outraged calls for the show to be withdrawn and the children returned to their lawful, loving parents instead of being left to the ignorant mercies of five childless couples:. For once, we have to agree: Rakhi Sawant is injurious to health — ours. She should have gracefully disappeared from sight after her swayamvara with or without her Swayamvara, Elesh. Instead, they reappear to bring up baby. More like bringing up ‘father’ and mommie dearest too. The other contestants, Sachin and Juhi, Mouni and Gaurav, Debina and Gurmeet behave like children playing housie-housie (remember how we did that?). They need to grow up. Fast.

... contd.