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'I find myself unable to believe completely'

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    William Dalrymple, Writer and Historian.

    What does spirituality mean to you?

    I grew up in a hyper-religious Catholic family in Scotland. My brother, my uncle, my grand-uncle all were priests or wished to be. My parents were extremely conscious of their Catholicism both as a form of identity and a religious practice. And I was too, until I came to India. The pluralism I encountered here had me question the tradition I grew up into. But if you grew up in some form of orthodoxy, even if you distance yourself from it, it creeps up in another manifestation --- and for me it is through my writings. I keep studying religion and my way of looking at spirituality has been to research it, looking at it intellectually rather than from a devotional point of view.

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    Do you believe you are guided and protected by a superior force?

    Throughout my life, I have had amazing runs of luck, and I have always felt incredibly protected. But as soon as I try to intellectualize it, I find myself unable to take this further step that would imply full faith in a deity. In fact, I feel less sure today about the existence of a deity than I ever had before. In my childhood, I would interpret countless events and experiences as the work of some divine agency. I no longer do.

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