‘I never thought of myself as a criminal. The court mercifully agrees’

Do you know what it feels like to be labelled a criminal? It steals your respect,dignity and confidence. It’s like you are always in a dark cloud with a sword over your head. For a crime not committed. For being born in a way like people have blue eyes or dark hair.

In 2002,when my partner of two decades Jerome Marrel and I signed a French PACS (a civil union recognised by the French government that allows rights and responsibilities),I was unaware of the hype around the event. Here was someone I love deeply and pre-PACS,I could not even sign him on for a medical procedure. I would have to wait for his family to sign a declaration in a life-threatening situation. I couldn’t even bury my beloved. I would stand in separate immigration lines at hostile foreign borders. If one of us passed away,all that we earned together would go to family and not the partner of 25 years. Cruel. Unjust. Depressing.

When an Austrian passed away in Goa in 2001,his girlfriend of many years was shunted away from the body by cops who told her that she was legally “nothing”. So when my friends encouraged me to go ahead,I did. And I have never regretted it. In one simple document,I found liberation,dignity and respect. A year ago,when I renewed my visas for various countries,I was delighted that the UK,Canada,Europe and British forms had a section where I could fill in a civil status. I wrote Jerome’s name and passport details with a tear in my eye. This was dignity. This was overwhelming. To be recognised as a couple.

People said I was bold and courageous to sign the PACS in India. I did not see it that way. What I did was for love and a lifetime of sharing. Friends wondered if could be arrested on the street one day.

People say gays,eunuchs and the like walk freely in India. Section 377 has never been used,so why should we change it?

This is entirely untrue. It has been used and it does get used for various reasons,mainly extortion,sometimes by blackmailers and by a few corrupt policemen.

Moreover,I could not understand how a section in this wonderful country’s laws could throw me in the lot of paedophiles and rapists. No matter how hard I looked in the mirror I could not see the criminal connection.

A few days ago,I was on a debate where right-wing opinion went on and on about homosexuals. The debate was on Section 377 — not on sexuality,morality or religion. Excuse me,I wanted to tell them,India is not Pakistan that it should be ruled by religious courts. This is a legal matter. And if a legal biggie like Soli Sorabjee says we should amend the law so couples can have sex in private if both are consenting adults,why do we have to listen to biased opinion based on other issues?

This week,I am proud to be an Indian. That India looks so good in the eyes of the world. That the World Health Organisation can begin to do their bit to control AIDS in this country. I am overjoyed that this new India is raising its head.

I never ever thought of myself as a criminal. This week the Delhi High Court mercifully agrees.