Many, in such a situation, would have lost faith in God. But I give credit to my father from keeping us faithful: he kept saying that had there been no God, we simply could have never faced all of it; we would have become so broken and bitter, so negative. Instead, we have come out stronger, more positive in our approach to life.

It was not always the case though. Immediately after my mother’s passing away, we went through a really rough time. Before her demise, while she was undertaking treatment in America, I kept praying, hoping God would listen to me and save her. After she died, I realized I had prayed so much but to no avail. So I was incredibly angry. My father also was very angry. We dismantled the mandir we had at home, took all the pictures of gods and threw them into the sea. How could she have died? Why so soon?
That period was terrible.
And it was such a strange feeling. We use God or a superior being as a crutch, something to hold on to. So suddenly if it is not there anymore, it feels so weird, so empty. You feel disoriented, your confidence level falls, you feel so insecure.

But I was 12 or 13 years’ old and I had to connect and relate to someone, I had to vent out my anger. I had felt close to Shirdi Sai Baba since I was a child. So I talked to him. I would speak out, complain, lash out. And it felt good. Gradually life came back. I felt life must go on. I started to understand what life is about: we come into this world but one day we have to go, and it could be any day.
One day we were on the terrace with my father, and I told him: you should not feel sad, because even though mum is not here with us anymore, look up at the stars and see that she is there; she is always there with us, looking after us.

... contd.