The Olympic telecast was always going to be poor, once DD laid hands on it. But it just got worse. Everything that could be wrong, is wrong. Worse, while worldwide sports telecasts have advanced with electronic communications, Doordarshan has regressed to the 1980s.

Studio: The rest of the television world is using computer-generated effects and graphics. DD is draped in satin (?) Chinese curtains — red, yellow, red with dragons. One studio has a red table, the other mauve armchairs, toy mascots in red and green. Aesthetics, anyone?

Presenters: Execrable taste in clothes. Monday, one wore a pink shirt with a darker pink and purple check tie against the yellow and red curtains. Also, they talk too much, sometimes involved in 20-30 minute discussions.

Presentation: Confusing. Events are not introduced in a way that you can understand what an epee is, how it is scored and who the main contenders are. Sunday morning at 10 am for half an hour, all 16 live feeds died. The presenters swung into action, rattling off names, figures, timings, events, tallies, scores, finalists, first heat finalists (!) in every single event, followed by an even longer list of all the winners of each.

No photographs that we match a face and name to, not one graphic table with the scheduled events, not one timetable for the day’s telecast — nothing but words.

Coverage: Erratic. Whimsical (based on DD’s whims), confused and often meaningless. Live feeds mysteriously disappear; we join an event midway as we did on Monday afternoon in the single sculls rowing (men) or, take a commercial break just when the fireworks were about to go off at the opening ceremony. Then, DD engages in meandering conversations between, let’s say, a presenter and Suresh Kalmadi on India’s poor track and field record at the Olympics on a Saturday afternoon when 16 live feeds were available.

And when the word play is done, what do we witness? Sunday, after patiently waiting for the feeds, it’s tennis (the visual proclaimed trampoline). One Mr. Black, USA up against Mr. Something, Australia. Why did DD choose this excruciatingly boring match when there was so much else on offer? Must be the fault of that word — Olumpics. At 1 pm, we went sailing: a beautiful blue sky, an azure sea with colorful little boats swaying in the breeze. Idyllic. But this is not a picnic, it’s the Olympics and most Indians would rather watch something - anything - else.

Commentary: If you’ve experienced difficulties in comprehending most of it ask why Doordarshan has an audio feed from Down Under that sounds as if it is coming from there instead of Beijing. Other times, we’re reduced to silence. The Sunday sailing event was telecast without accompanying commentary.

Goof ups galore: Monday, we’re told Avtar Singh Sethi will describe the rowing but there’s no way the Aussie or New Zealander we heard was Mr Sethi.

All in all, too much talk, too little action: “This is a historic day, 28 years and this is the first time we have won a gold medal. Well,we’re already better off than we were before... Abhinav Bindra ...that’s what champions are made of”

“Absolutely...”

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com