Losing Their Sheen

While I cannot support them at any level,I feel compelled to play devil’s advocate in the matter. Do we,can we really expect two men who are smashed out of their faces to behave sensibly? In the history of bacchanalia,has there ever been an example of restraint and reason? I don’t think so. Alcohol is an intoxicant,and intoxication,as the dictionary says,is “to stupefy by doping with chemical substances — such as alcohol”.

So,is it reasonable to attack people on a bender,when they’re clearly exhibiting symptoms of drunken,disorderly behaviour,or are under the influence? Class A drugs definitely had a starring role in both these cases. The combination of cocaine and champagne are lethal,causing slurring,and delusions,and sometimes,even time in jail.

The smartest person — with one swift snort and a tequila shot — seems to forget that any indiscretion eventually calls for public flogging. If you choose to behave like a mean-spirited idiot in a restaurant,footage of your misdemeanours is bound to hit the internet within minutes. It’s no longer Big Brother who’s watching; it’s all those annoying people with powerful cameras on their mobile phones.

When it comes to Sheen,I’m more sympathetic,largely because millions were made on basing his dissolute “free-spirited” character in Two and a Half Men on his actual personality. The producers/writers didn’t even bother to change the first name; they just turned Sheen into Harper. Besides,Sheen’s liquored-up attacks were more against Chuck Lorre and less about “Chaim” (Lorre’s Jewish given name).

Anyone who launches into a drunk tirade inevitably loses control,and is unable to stop himself once he’s started. Sheen has been spouting so much incomprehensible rubbish that he has nearly rendered himself unquotable. How can you not laugh at him,when the man has made a joke of himself?

If science is to be believed,some people are more predisposed to becoming alcoholics than others. That’s why we label alcoholism as a disease. So,why are the symptoms treated with such disdain? Being under the influence is akin to a moment of temporary insanity. Even a court of law buys that argument.

Having known more than my fair share of drunks,I can tell you that a tipsy person isn’t always fun but they are mostly harmless. They can get belligerent,aggressive,silly and challenge you to a round,but getting the upper hand is as easy as tipping a cow. Just push hard and they don’t stand a chance. Also,in most cases,people get high,happy and sleepy. Then its bedtime in a ditch or on a divider.

Too bad Messrs Galliano and Sheen didn’t take advantage of the sleep-inducing qualities of alcohol. While the foreign press is busy ringing the death knell on both their careers,I’m not so convinced. In any case,even if Hollywood and Paris reject them,they’ll always have a home in India. As far as we’re concerned,celebrity always prevails over politeness. Indians are much more tolerant of bad behaviour,and many Bollywood film stars have gotten away with much worse.

Galliano and Sheen may have seriously hurt people’s sentiments. But even then they might have to step up their game to keep up with our country.

tothemannerborn@expressindia.com