Let’s watch Doordarshan for a change. On second thoughts, let’s not. No, we must because, like it or not, it is the most widely available TV channel in the country (who cares?) and public funds (our taxes) keep it on air.

What does the public get for its money? A poor return on investment. Watch the cricket telecast on DD National; imagine a man’s morning stubble — preferably Dhoni’s — under an electric shaver. Result? A hazy picture with the hum of a snore. Good, faithful Doordarshan with its unshaven look as though it has just woken up.

How to explain this continued poor quality transmission — now you see it, now you don’t — even though DD National is on the primary cable band along with all the most popular channels? How can DD ever win a sports telecast like this? It can’t, so it forces other channels to share broadcast rights by a Government fiat.

None of the private satellite TV channels could continue in business wearing Dhoni’s morning-after look. It’s about inattentiveness to detail. The lip synch on a serial such as Ehsaas hears characters speak what their lips say two seconds later — or the other way around.

And their serials look like they’ve just shaken off the mothballs. Old, like Buniyaad (Sahara One); but Buniyaad is old and on a repeat telecast. These serials are all new featuring an undistinguished cast of has or never-beens.

And, from what we saw, DD is the only channel to still broadcast the Harpic commercial which invites you into the lavatory for a close up of a dirty Indian toilet over lunch. Meanwhile, satellite channels carry a Coke ad — where rather than cleaning toilets you whistle at (and with) Aishwarya Rai.

... contd.