And what can you possibly say about the CNN-IBN cash-for-votes tape that hasn’t already been said? Perhaps, that from a viewer’s perspective, the entire tape should have been telecast at one go so we could judge for ourselves without expert commentary replete with so many qualifications, submissions and explanations. This was a TV telecast, not a court hearing: testimony from Amar Singh, Arun Jaitley and other eminent jurists should have been after, not during the tape’s telecast.

From J&K, we hear too many voices making too many contradictory statements with too much vehemence. Perhaps this reflects the prevailing confusion in the state. However, television has added to our sense of disorientation: because television provides a continuous jigsaw of visuals from Jammu, Srinagar, Delhi and Islamabad — and plunges the microphone into every willing open mouth that wants to speak (they all do) — you’re left with no clarity, only a jumbled film reel with garbled sounds. To this day, you don’t understand why this is happening with such alarming results.

Nothing could have been clearer than Akhil Kumar’s punch that landed bang on the tip of Sergey Vodopyanov’s nose. More than his punches, it was his footwork, fleet and light but jaunty, that told you he was a winner. In comparison, Dr Manmohan’s Independence Day address was wan, a pale imitation of his own limited oratory powers. He sounded tired. Perhaps the PM is aware of his poor public speaking skills and therefore, never ventures beyond brief statements before TV cameras. Ditto Sonia Gandhi.

The problem is that the Congress doesn’t have a voice, it’s leadership consists of the PM, Sonia Gandhi, Pranab Mukherjee, Shivraj Patil and Arjun Singh — if they have the words, then they don’t posses the voice and if they possess the voice, they don’t have the words. Rahul Gandhi is still searching for both. Someone, quite literally, needs to speak up.

Take Shilpa Shetty. She sounds loud and clear and rather like crystal tinkling. She also seems to be perpetually enjoying some private joke that stretches her lips into an involuntary (but very pretty) smile. On Sunday night, looking more like a red mermaid than a mermaid, she was on display as the Big Boss (Colours). Or rather it was the deep curve from her waist to hip bone with a coy navel peeping out that caught — and kept — the camera’s fancy. So while she introduced the

ladies and gentlemen who had agreed to spend the next 84 days together in captivity, we contemplated her (pretty) navel.

You have to give Bigg Boss credit for choosing the most unglamorous set of personalities as different from each other as Shilpa was from Jade Goody in Big Brother. Monica Bedi is the most glam and Jade Goody, the most different. Yes, the bad-mouthed lady who ‘helped’ Shilpa win Big Brother is here to ‘help’ other Indians do the same. The most inspired choices are probably politician Sanjay Nirupam and politician’s son, Rahul Mahajan. The latter was busy playing guide, the former checking out the toilets for hidden cameras (none). We’ve also got item girl Sambhavna Seth, singer Debojit, actresses Ketaki Dave and Payal Rohtagi (who?) and comedian Ahsaan Qureshi. This week we’ll find out how they get along. Meanwhile, there’s always The Navel.

PS. Cheerleaders bobbing up and down and around during the ODI in Sri Lanka was, in cricketing terms, not a big hit.

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com