The year ahead for couch potatoes

1 How about no TV? This one’s completely in your control. Just grab the remote and press the little red button on the top right hand corner. Off.

2 Now that Gul Panag has taught Aamir Khan and the rest of us how to do it, the next best thing to switching off the TV is watching what we want, when we want. Or more precisely, while you watch cricket, you can record the English Premier League and watch it later. DTH services like Tata Sky, offer you this simply amazing techno-wonder so that you can watch what you want when you want. But we’ve already said that.

3 Or watch the computer, which doesn’t sound half as bad to anti-TV parents. As every self-respecting kid-with-computer knows, you can download everything from the latest episodes of Desperate Housewives to movies and music videos, from Sarah Palin to Shoe-man Bush via Youtube. The only thing you may not be able to download is Doordarshan but then would you want to?

4 Right now, on the box. Look forward to much, much more of Cyrus Broacha. Yes, he’s gained kilos but as the charismatic host of The Week That Wasn’t (CNN-IBN), the delightful spoof on news, he’s worth his pound of flesh. What makes the show unstoppable-watchable is that the ‘news’ looks increasingly like the news that ‘wasn’t’ on his show.

5 Look forward to no more Breaking News or Exclusives. They’re next on the list of things either the I&B or the News Broadcasters Association will ban. In the national interest of course. After Mumbai 26/11, TV news may never be the same again (you wish!). According to NBA’s self-regulatory guidelines issued after a perfect storm broke over the Mumbai coverage, you will never see anything live again either. So if you see more dead bodies, you’ll know why. On Hindi news channels, look forward to more entertainment and anything but the news.

... contd.