
6 Look forward to next year’s general elections without opinion polls before the polls, revised opinions and polls during the campaign, exit polls of different voting phases, exit polls combined with opinion polls before the next phase, polls after all phases—because the government has banned them! Only problem is: what will we watch, then?
7 The Big Breaking News (while it’s not banned): no more K-serials. Or, no more saas-bahu sagas beginning with the letter K, although there are a few leftovers like Kis Desh Mein Hai Mera Dil but otherwise they’ve made way for other letters of the alphabet like T: Tujh Sang Preet Lagai Sajna.
8 Instead, enjoy the company of more little, little children in fancy dress costumes named Sukhi, Khushi, Premi etc., who will join Anandi, Iccha, Tapasya as the new stars of TV soaps. Baalika Vadhu (Colors) swept out the 200-year old Ba and any other character above the age of 12. Now, if you want to cry while watching the TV melodrama, you’ll have to reach for a nappie.
9 Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Akshay Kumar, Shilp Shetty, Farhan Khan—expect other stars to fall from the Bollywood firmament and land directly onto TV. Perhaps, Aamir can host a body-building series and invite as his first guests SRK and Salman.
10 There’s lots to watch on the cricket pitch but not Dhoni &Co. For the first few months of the new year since India is taking a well-earned conflict resolution break from the game. We seem more interested in warm games these days. As for reality shows, everyone else has danced and sung, so it must be the turn of the judges to be contestants. How about Hema Malini versus Sharmila Tagore, Saroj Khan versus Farah Khan, Himesh Reshammiya up against Anu Malik?