Manmohan Singh, 75: Prime Minister, Captain. The highly intelligent Oxbridge-educated leader was famous for his defensive style of play until he danced down the pitch over the nuclear deal. Unfortunately, he was stumped by the non-playing wicketkeeper of his government: Prakash Karat. He is now left trying to disprove that adage: Nice guys finish last. He lacks the support of his team but retains the faith of the Chairperson of Selectors.

Pranab Mukherjee, 71: Foreign Minister, Vice-Captain. This wily politician from West Bengal is the senior-most member of the team. In fact, he was once his boss’s boss. His detractors say he has his eyes on the captaincy. The captain has immense faith in him though, given the multiple tasks assigned to him. He seems better suited to be coach, given that he often has to attend to the deficiencies of the rest of the team.

Shivraj Patil, 72: Home Minister. Always turned out in the finest whites, but not known for scoring runs, many feel that he would be better ‘rested’ away from Home.

A.K. Antony, 67: Defence Minister. Part of the ‘nice guy’ brigade, he is not known for converting that asset into competence for delivering the goods. Low-scoring batsman, but can occupy the crease without courting controversy.

P. Chidambaram, 62: Finance Minister. Once a big hitter in the mould of a young Sachin (remember 1996-98?), he is now a pale shadow of his former self. Apparently he is constrained by a hamstr(u)ng problem. On the Left Side.

Arjun Singh, 77: Human Resource Development Minister. His style of play echoes of the infamous knock of 36 not out in 60 overs by Sunil Gavaskar in the World Cup of 1975: selfish, out of date, and plain slow. Seems to be playing on a different pitch from the rest of the team, and is rumoured to be willing to do anything to undermine the Captain. Strangely retains the faith of the Chairperson of Selectors.

Kamal Nath, 60: Commerce and Industry Minister. He is one of those rare players who are consistent heroes when playing on foreign pitches, especially in Geneva. Sadly, his record on domestic turf is close to zero, especially after the fiasco over SEZs.

That concludes a brief assessment of the senior players of the Congress team. It seems clear that many senior players are under-performing. And, Madam Chairperson, in this age of instant cricket and instant politics, don’t we need a younger team on the field? Do I hear the calls for Rahul Dhoni and his band of Sachins — Milind, Jyotir and Sandeep et al — to be named to the squad getting louder? Madam Chairperson, please do make a note.