If he hits you once, hit him twice. Hit him so hard he doesn’t get up. Hit to hurt. These were my words of advice to my gentle, eight-year-old nephew — who, if he progresses the way he is, may turn into a spiritual guru. He had been regularly bringing back bruises from school. Two boys were delivering them. This was my third or fourth such lecture. Earlier, I had told him to handle the attacks himself, then talk to the teachers, and so on. Didn’t work and that, in turn, brought out the hidden violence and impatience within me. His answer silenced me for good, and has since turned me into a family joke: “But mamoo, first he’ll hit me, then I’ll hit him, then he’ll hit me, then I’ll hit him. Then what?” It also accorded him a premature sainthood — we’re waiting for him to start preaching!

The reluctance of my nephew to take to violence showed me that perhaps such behaviour is only partly genetic and largely acquired. The culmination of what I was advocating was on TV last week — the violent, bloody and completely unbelievable death of a Class 8 student, shot by two of his classmates. Many parents came forth to blame television, newspapers, films and even the reality they somewhat unearth. But an equal number were introspective, understanding that our children will become who we are — not what we ideally want them to be. Question is, how do you break out of a situation where you are a victim of physical or emotional violence and still resist taking to it?

... contd.