But I swear there is nothing more stressful than marriage — it is the emotional equivalent of a marathon — and if anybody is going to die young, it is the guy trapped in the same house with a woman who won’t let him smoke, drink beer, eat pizza or watch TV and who makes him go for regular prostate exams.

If I am that guy, I’m not sure I’d want to live to be 90, if you know what I mean. There is also research that suggests that women generate a couple’s social network and arrange the kind of social interaction that is also important to a man’s health. In other words, all those dinner parties and holiday gatherings she sets in motion are good for you, even if she drives you like a mule to help her get ready for them.

Those are the people, after all, who will be coming with casseroles and unwanted advice and medical misinformation when you get sick, and that’s good for your health, too, according to all the best research.

Remember, without her, you’d be drinking beer and eating pizza by yourself in front of the TV, but the big clock on the wall would be ticking down your minutes to live. Anyway, this new study, which makes the completely obvious point that if you stay healthy you will live longer, fails — as is so often the case — to give women the credit they deserve. If it were not for women, the home furnishings industry, and most men, would apparently die a wasting death. In fact, I see a public health campaign in this research.

... contd.