The Art of Blending In

Some people thrive on change. Me, I spend my time trying to control everything so that everything remains the same.

Some people thrive on change. Me, I spend my time trying to control everything so that everything remains the same. Sure enough, my journey is full of constant upheavals and instead of showing great resilience, I resort to stony sullenness. Tinged with a ton of resentment. This particular character trait is really letting me down in the latest phase of life. Currently, I am forced to live a bi-coastal life since my partner has been transferred to Hong Kong. My loathing towards travelling is well documented, but I think it is going to be overshadowed by my aversion to change.

Living in two cities is not exciting. There is nothing romantic or thrilling about it. For a start, your routine goes for a toss. Every time you need something, you discover it is in an entirely different cupboard in a totally different country. And yes, having a friend's network outside of Facebook becomes a virtual reality. As an instinctively social race — given that most Indians come from extended families — we tend towards large gatherings. What else could explain our love for a crowd and our complete inability to give each other personal space? So what does one do when thrown into a foreign situation? We hang out together as a crowd as it gives us a sense of having made new friends without making any extra effort. It is moot if there is any genuine affection in that relationship but who is to question a matter of convenience?

But if you want to be a pioneer and make new friends, here is a rough guide to how to do it: don't bother. If you have been a reasonably social and engaging person you probably have enough friends, good friends, dear friends, old friends that you haven't seen in ages. Largely because you haven't had the time to catch up with them. What makes you think that with you spending your life on a plane you will have any spare time to add new acquaintances to your life? Frankly, there are a lot of wonderful people you haven't seen in an age because you haven't had the inclination to catch up with them. In fact, if you are really, really brutally truthful, if time spent together was a factor in keeping an association, you would be hitting the "unfriend" button a lot.

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