This is not apocryphal, it is a genuine letter written by a 98-year-old British lady to her bank. The entire letter can't be reproduced. But this quote gives the general flavour:

"I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.... Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof."

And so on.

I have just received a notice from my bank, which states the following:

"As per the provisions of Reserve Bank of India Master Circular (RBI/2009-10/73; DBOD. AML. BC. No. 2/14.01.001/2009-10) on Know Your Customer (KYC) norms dated 01 July 2009, it is mandatory for all banks to update the customer identification documents (including photographs) for all accounts held with them on a periodic basis."

If I don't comply, my account will be frozen. Fair enough, a bank must know its customers. For the last six months, my wife and I have been inordinately interested in ICICI Bank and the bank has been inordinately interested in us. Neither my wife nor I bank with ICICI. Therefore, this mutual interest requires explanation.

... contd.