Coffee drinkers seem to be going for Hillary in a big way. She leads in Starbucks stores in states won, 4,341 to 3,888, benefiting from her win in California, which has a whopping 2,010 Starbucks outlets. (Stump line: “Pick a president who’ll always be wide-eyed at 3 am!”)

Clinton supporters should draw more attention to the nation’s baseball fans, who last summer cast 18.5 million votes to elect the all-star team. Clinton has a commanding lead in Major League Baseball teams in states won, 16 to 11. Of course, this metric requires validating the results from Florida and Michigan, but why would party leaders risk disenfranchising fans of the Marlins, Rays and Tigers? (Stump line: “It ain’t over till it’s over!”)

The Clinton campaign should be able to spin the fact that Obama has shown surprising strength in states with female governors. He has won six such states vs. only one for her. Is there any YouTube footage of Obama’s secret statehouse visits? (Stump line: “I reject gender-based politics on all levels!”)

Most impressive, perhaps, is that using the letters “c,” “i” and “f” from California, plus the “e” from Massachusetts and the “h” from Oklahoma, Clinton backers can spell the word “chief.” Although Obama has an impressive roster of states won, they simply don’t give him the necessary letters. (Stump line: “Ready to spell chief on Day One!”)

And that should keep the media busy — and voters confused — until May 6, when Hillary’s supporters are certain to point out that by winning the North Carolina primary she can garner all the letters necessary to spell “Clinton.” (Stump line: “If these metrics don’t work, we’ve got plenty more!”)