Let me state for the record that the Government is working round the clock to secure the country from terrorist strikes. If you think the Union Home Minister appears to be paying inordinate attention to his personal appearance, and not enough to the safety of the citizens, think again. That rose in the lapel of his immaculately tailored bandhgala is actually a hidden camera to track down potential terrorists. Yes sir, the Government has decided to use every trick in the book in its no-holds-barred approach to fight terror. Excerpts from an interview I conducted with the Home Minister, somewhere in the innards of South Block...

Me: Namaskar, Griha Mantriji, thank you for your time. You must be really busy coordinating anti-terror operations around the country.

HOME MINISTER (HM): Through this interview I wish to send out a message to all my dear brothers and sisters in the country that the Home Ministry is With You. For You. Always.

Me: Quite. That line from the Delhi Police is a great confidence booster, must say.

HM (whipping out a nail file and giving himself a quick manicure): We shall nail them. Read my lips. We shall nail them.

Me: Right.

HM (pulling out a coat brush and attending to the left sleeve of his coat): We shall wipe them away from the face of this country, just as I am removing this bit of fluff from my bandhgala.

Me (very impressed): I am sure they will feel the heat.

HM (brushing his right sleeve): Not only will they feel the heat, they will find themselves in the cold! (He laughed so long at his little joke that I had to politely join in.)

... contd.