MARRIAGE. You can either leave it or live with it. And though opting fortheformermay justbemorein fashion now, what with diminishing pa- tience andescalatingexpectations,working out a comfort level before you take the plunge may just be the next big thing to work in favour of the institution. Urban educated Indians are turning the traditional assumptions about marriage on their head. Love and emotions are making space to accommodate an HIV test before marriage, celebrations are peppered with prudence rather than extravagance, sexolo- gists are met, and a few “I don’ts” spelt out loud and clear before the“I dos” are said.

Mumbai-based Rupali and Mandar Shinde needed little time to decide before taking the ultimate plunge. Their only pre- requisite: an HIV test before settling down for the marital bliss.“I was the one who ini- tiated the test,” says homemaker Rupali.

“Thankfully it didn’t take me too much time to convince Mandar. There were initial hic- cups but we were both relaxed when our re- sults were negative.”The young couple also went for marriage and AIDS counselling and attribute the success of their relation- ship to this wise decision. Explains Mandar, customer care executive at a bank: “Ours was an arranged marriage and we didn’t know about each other’s past. An HIV test only ensured that both of us would have a secure future. But I told my parents about it only after I married Rupali.”

Some are starting the process even ear- lier. Like Pune-based DrVijendra Patil, who has just completed his MBBS, and got an HIV test done, even as a bride hunt is on for him.Saysthewould-be-groom: “AsadoctorI am looked up to by society. By taking a pre- cautionary HIV test, I want to set an exam- ple for others and more than anything else, it is for my own safety.”

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