Yeah, it might seem like you’re signing an agreement to part ways even before you’re married, but why look at it negatively? If things work out in our favour, Kishore and I might even marry.”

That sexual norms have undergone a major change is not evident just from the increasing live-in relationships but also by the way cou-ples are addressing the issue. Pune-based sex-ologist Rajendra Sathe says more and more women are coming forward to tackle issues re-lated to themselves and their partners’ sexual health. “Young men and women want to dis-cuss issues such as impotence, lack of sexual desire and sexual habits with other partners,” he says. “Most of the women have been sexu-ally active before marriage and they know what sex is. In the past one year, the number of women coming to talk about sexual relations before marriage has gone up by 50 per cent.” Adds Delhi-based sexologist Vijay Arora: “Cou-ples are coming to me before marriage to dis-cuss sexual preferences, even impotence.’’

So what is it—the increasing lack of faith in marriage, or desperate measures to strengthen the institution? Delhi-based sociologist Sangi-eta Kumarr reasons out the changing attitudes. “After economic liberalisation, life has sud-denly taken an upswing. Everything has be- come too fast and youngsters these days are very careful about investing anywhere—finan-cially or emotionally. While insecurity in rela-tionships is also one of the main reasons why couples are adopting the newer means of mar-riage, the entire BPO culture is responsible for an upheaval in relationships. Issues like self-fi-nanced weddings or a contract prior to mar-riage may still not be accepted in our society, but it’s a way to save a marriage. Who wants to carry excess emotional baggage anyway?”

... contd.