Who’s the best? The vest or the zoozoos? The zoozoos have it. They are the most entertaining and intelligent things on TV. Or so we thought until we learnt they’re not things at all but thin, young people transformed into TV commercials for Vodafone. Well, they could and have fooled us. Anyone who thinks those flat, white, elastic creatures without a bone or curve in their bodies are human, hasn’t seen the male or female form, lately.

Not that it matters. We love ‘em. So much so, we wish they would replace IPL (where the ads appear most often) as the main attraction. Zoozoos are inventive, unexpected; most IPL matches are predictable. We don’t know what zoozoos will do next; we’ve seen what’s happening most often in IPL. The team batting first has struggled but manfully put up a woefully low score so we switch channels only to be lured back by the sight of half of the team batting second being out halfway through and the last over deciding the match when, as commentators say, “We have a match on our hands”.

These days the commentators are working overtime to artificially resurrect the encounters. That’s when they’re not lolling in overgrown chairs around the ground sampling the local human delicacies, or they’re not merchandising for IPL. This is not what we expect from IPL. Nowadays, we can get 120 in 20 overs of a Test match — ask Virender Sehwag. In IPL we want the big hitters to hit it big time otherwise why are they there?

... contd.