What about Deal Ya No Deal (Sony)? Another very good candidate for the malfunctioning award. No, it’s not because of Mandira Bedi’s clothes, which when they malfunction (which is frequently) manage to remain in place; it’s because the contestants behave in an equally deranged manner no matter how much they win or lose. It’s only money, folks.

Our serial producers’ creative powers are not just malfunctioning or dysfunctional, they have ceased to exist. You can’t blame them. Some of these shows wage a daily battle long after they’ve lost our interest. Look at what they’ve done to Jassi. She has literally become Jaisi Koi Nahin.

First, they turned her into another hair shampoo ad when she was strictly for wigs, then they made her into another tear goddess when she was the joker in the pack, and now they are about to make her into a surrogate mother to a little girl who is apparently her husband Armaan’s from a fling with a woman who is about to die of a dreadful disease. Whew!