Also, Ash who Abhi is not prepared to marry — or is it the other way round — although news channels tied their knot with camera wires

Ba died and with it killed our remaining interest in Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thhi. She’s so famous they named a serial after her, Ba, Bahu aur Baby. Meanwhile, Tulsi Ma became Ba. Looking at Smriti Irani, it figures, it figures

Cricket . This year, it was played by Max, Zee Sports, DD Sports, Ten Sports, Star Sports-ESPN, Neo Sports — and Mandira Bedi. No wonder we lost so many matches.

Also, court TV aka news channels which did almost more than the legal system to convict Santosh Kumar Singh and Manu Sharma

Doordarshan 2006, Doordarshan 2005, Doordarshan 2004, Doordarshan 2003, Doordarshan 2002… Doordarshan 1983…yawn

Endemol. Who? Bigg Boss ka baap.

The Dutch entertainment company has a lot to answer for

Fear Factor is the most repulsive game on the box. Or anywhere else. Also, it smells. Still, TV actors like Shakti Anand, rushed in to lie in a bed of snails — instead of nails — because he, like many others, doesn't suffer from the fear factor, he wallows in it

Girebaal . No, it’s not a TV commercial for hair loss but a wig masquerading as Simi’s mane. It keeps falling over Cyrus Sahukar’s face to hide the fact that although he behaves like her, his first name is Semi. Now if only he would replace Navjot Singh Sidhu — permanently — on NDTV’s Cricket Controversies

Hindi films got to hear from news channels, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.. Karan Johar, Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Rani Mukherji, Preity Zinta, Abhishek Bachchan, etcetera. They didn’t: Johar’s talk show Koffee with Karan gave him such a taste for television, he’s now slaking his thirst at NDTV’s new entertainment channel. Apart from Rakhi Sawant, Bollywood was item number one on news channels, 24x7x365

India Incredible. We really wanted to visit that country after watching this TV commercial, the best of 2006

Jessica Lall. Got to be the most “photographed” person on TV last year. And its most celebrated cause

K serials had a poor showing. Next year, Ekta Kapoor is considering a triple generational switch and a change of alphabet

Lost in Orange County? Can’t get any Sex in the City? Why not go to OneTreeHill where you can still meet some Friends, but not Seinfeld who quit the box because Everybody Loves Raymond instead. Oprah Winfrey may not spend Tonight with Jay Leno but puts in a good day’s work at The Office, every day and remains the most influential American entertainment personality

Mahajans. Pramod Mahajan’s struggle to live after being shot allegedly by brother Pravin and son Rahul’s hospitalisation after possible drug and alcohol abuse, were perfect made-for-TV moments news channels did fail to exploit. Maybe, in a K-soap next year

Also, Mona Singh who, finally, cast aside Jassi for a pair of dancing shoes. Rather like Cinderella’s slippers, they brought her unexpected success as she won the talent show Jhalak Dikhla Jaa

Naya Office Office. Ha, ha, it’s the only show that makes you laugh. Apart from the Great Laughter Challenge Show

O.J. Well Simpson did try to juice (as opposed to milk) Fox News to pay, he claimed, his debts. After a tsunami of outrage, owner Rupert Murdoch cancelled a TV interview with him to coincide with the release of his book on how he would have killed his wife, entitled rather chillingly If I Did It

Parvati. The heroine of Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki skipped a generation or two. Ironically, she looks younger older than older. The reason? Designer Manish Malhotra’s makeover, which might win her a sideshow in Karan Johar’s next flick — or TV show

Question: How did it feel when you first heard news of the bomb blasts knowing your husband travels by one of the trains attacked?

Reply: How do you think?

Reality shows — Indian Idol 2, Nach Balliye 2, Fame Gurukul, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa... May not have the ratings to overtake the soaps but provided more tele, table, bedroom and cocktail talk. Starring Rakhi Sawant who doesn’t look half bad, fully clothed, on Bigg Boss

Saat Phere: Starring Saloni. She went a whiter shade of brown (using fairness cream?) and Zee’s daily soap climbed the popularity charts as she paled before our eyes. Now she looks — and behaves — as the best bahu. Look out Tulsi

Sreesanth : After his performance in the first cricket test match against South Africa, he will participate in Nach Balliye 3 or Jhalak Dikkhla Jaa 2.

After the World Cup, that is.

Travel & Living. Favorite channel amongst carpenters, cooks and couch tourists. Strictly prohibited for anorexics and people with two right or left hands

Times Now, Tez: what, another news channel?

UTV . The TV company for all ages and genres. It’s moved from soaps, game, kids shows, to animation, Hollywood shows, movies — and of course Rang De Basanti

Vaidehi: It’s called the idiot box. Now, TV is severely challenged (no offence). A new crop of serials tackle everything from impotency and prejudice against girls to mental disturbances, none more frighteningly than Vaidehi where the impotent husband conceives of diabolical ways to persecute his wife World Cup. Now, watch out for next year’s cricket version

X......... Fill in the blanks television left

Yatin Karyekar… well, had to come up with something. This actor celebrates girl power as the father of many potential brides in the show Betiyaan…

Zzzzzzzzzz.....