The elections are over, the government has been formed. The IPL is over, the big guns did not fire or backfire. The Bollywood party is over, at least temporarily, as the no-agreement between the film producers and the multiplexes continues, preventing any major new releases, unless you consider Detective Naani major. Ab kya karega bechara TV?

Seriously. What will television, in particular TV news that has fattened and prospered on current affairs, cricket and cinema, do this week without its mainstays offering anything special? Sure, new cabinet members will be sworn in on Tuesday, so we’ll be back at Rashtrapati Bhavan. Been there, seen that. Also, it’s a Doordarshan telecast, so we won’t see anything we want to see: who is present, who speaks to Sonia or Rahul, who shakes hands, who exchanges glances, smiles, envious looks. Instead, we’ll have to watch each minister repeat after the President, “I ...” Not exactly riveting stuff, you’ll agree. By the way, where was the PM’s family during last week’s swearing-in? Doordarshan seemed entranced by the Gandhis (they’re not alone, News 24 even did a show called Sonianama) and then other politicians but did not focus on them. Most peculiar.

Sure, there will be post-mortems and obituaries on IPL, a dead bore because there really isn’t much that hasn’t already been said by Harsha Bhogle & Co. who did most of the talking over the last six weeks. That because barring a few special occasions when the likes of Adam Gilchrist or Manish Pandey were at the crease, the cricket bats did not speak for themselves. We’re relieved on behalf of Preity Zinta and Shilpa Shetty who had to act as though they were real happy to be on the losing side: TV cameras tracked their every expression throughout the Kings IX Punjab and Rajasthan Royal matches and it wouldn’t do to look like a bad sport, now would it?

... contd.