Jolly well, who cares about the lather-blather? Whether or not Mihir will be reunited with his Tulsi, after a decade, two decades, in Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thhi? Or, if Parvati will end up loving her new husband in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki? For that matter, who is the teenie-weenie bit interested in Kasauti Zindagi Kay and Prerna’s release from prison, return to her husband Mr.Bajaj’s home (note, please that after many years of intimate married life she still calls him Mr.Bajaj) only to discover that her beloved Prem (son, not her beloved husband) has usurped the throne and booted out her Mr.Bajaj with the tip of his silver cane (silver?) and now demands her departure from his ‘home’ with a swish of said instrument?

No one. Or leastways, far fewer than before. These, the three top-rated shows, have experienced declining returns on investment as they plod along-that’s what soap operas do as they grow older, and it’s six years now for these veterans-with their familiar storylines, faces and predictable developments. That’s their comfort zone-you know precisely what will happen (eventually, after more twist and turns than in last week’s German Grand Prix course) and who will do what: for instance, when the good guy (or more often, good girl) appears on the screen soft, lilting music plays; when it’s wicked Prem, the music is dark and foreboding.

Six years on, these strengths are becoming weaknesses. The predictable has become the prosaic-there are only so many times that we can go through the emotional roller-coaster of Mihir and Tulsi being estranged, then reconciled, estranged again-and still care.

... contd.