For those like me who have spent more than 50 years in Mumbai, it was a rude shock to learn that we are the “rudest” people in the world.

Most Mumbaikars take it for granted that they are the most well-mannered, cooperative, compassionate and concerned people in the world. Naturally, no one is in a mood to accept the survey. But being Mumbaikars, they have taken it in their stride. They do not want to question the findings nor do they want to take the issue to the International Court of Justice. They choose to introspect, or better, laugh it off.

The Mumbaikar is too busy catching his local train or bus or solving his crossword or sudoku. Or just earning money. If he doesn’t earn, he doesn’t live.

Mumbaikars are just terribly occupied enriching the coffers of the central exchequer. After all, they have to run the economy of the country.

The surveyors just missed the point, it seems. Which Mumbaikars did they survey? Of the 1.8 crore people in the city, as many as 1.1 crore live in the slums more dense than black holes.

If a surveyor ever visited them, he would have found them extremely considerate and warm. He would have been offered water to drink—it’s another matter that he’d have fainted by the looks of that water. Maybe he’d have concluded that people are so rude, they don’t even bother to give clean water to a guest. The Dharavi resident would not be able to offer a proper seat to the visitor. But he would certainly offer a “cuttin chai” in a glass too hot to hold. Maybe that’s rude too.

... contd.